Trying To Deaden The Pain Of My Shame
(By: Darl Favreau)
Darl Favreau was sexually molested repeatedly by his father-in-law. The emotional pain this brought Darl, as it does most every boy or girl, causes them to try to find a way to bury that pain. It can also cause them to move into rebellion, as was the case of Darl.
Alcohol and drugs to try to deaden the pain of his shame became the way of life for him. To support his drug habit, he stole anything he could to make some money.
After 20 years of this death-spiral, Darl began to consider suicide more and more. The pain of life was just getting too much for him.
But in a moment of anguish too great for him to adequately put into words, rather than TAKE his life, he chose to GIVE his life to God...the One who gave it to him in the first place.
Darl asked Jesus Christ to forgive him of his past wrongdoings, and asked Him to take away all his mental pain. Jesus Christ did BOTH. Forgiveness was instantaneous. (It always IS, when we ask for it.)
Having his mental pain taken away was a process. It usually IS, not because it has to be that way, but because we often refuse to do what God desires us to do to be made whole.
God clearly tells us in the New Testament Bible that we MUST forgive everyone who hurts us in some way. Those that have hurt us the most are the ones we need to forgive the quickest, yet everything in us says just the opposite! Everything in us says, 'That person does NOT deserve my forgiveness! I will NEVER forgive that person for what they have done!'
When that is our attitude about someone who has hurt us, 'done wrong to us' what we do is give the devil legal ground to put us in a prison. Put us in a prison of our own making, in fact.
Forgiving those who have hurt us 'especially those who have hurt us the most' frees us from spiritual and emotional prison. Forgiving those who have done us wrong is both a commandment from God, and is WISDOM. In fact, God clearly tells us in the Bible in Matthew 6:14-15 that if we don't forgive others who have hurt us in some way, He will NOT forgive us, when we ask for His forgiveness.
Being forgiven by God is conditional. We MUST be willing to forgive others FIRST.
Most people would rather continue to stay angry inside at the one who has done them wrong, than become free from the effects of what holding unforgiveness is doing in their lives.
Holding unforgiveness toward someone ALWAYS puts that person in some kind of unseen tormenting prison. Holding unforgiveness toward someone is a sin to God, and God says that 'the wages of sin is death.'' Holding anger and unforgiveness toward the person who has hurt us 'done us wrong' will eventually cause all sorts of spiritual, emotional and physical sicknesses and diseases to overtake them. It can also keep the person from going to heaven when they die!
Some people are not able to believe that God knew what each of us would do in our life before we were even created. Not only is God able to see our beginning from our end, He knows what we will do when someone hurts us. We only have two choices when someone hurts us. One choice is to forgive them. The second choice is not to forgive them.
Darl was angry at God for allowing his father-in-law to repeatedly sexually molest him, and rightly so, from a human perspective. Yet in being angry at God, where did it get him? Did it bring peace with God, or was the devil able to successfully use Darl's anger toward God as the very means to nearly take Darl to hell? ABSOLUTELY!
WISE people can be tempted to be angry at God, but they deal quickly with their anger toward Him, realizing you don't want to give the Warden of the prison reason to keep you locked up any longer than necessary. Satan wants to keep you locked up in prison FOREVER -- both in this life and in hell for eternity! God doesn't want us locked up in ANY PRISON, let alone go to hell, yet if we don't use THE KEY God has given us to stay OUT of prison, the key of forgiveness, then He will give us the right to lock ourselves up in prison, and stay in that prison until we reach into our pocket, so to speak, and take the "FORGIVENESS key" out and slip it into the keyhole to the prison door and walk away completely FREE and restored to WHOLENESS.
(Here is a writing that you might find beneficial, if you are struggling with what has been shared here about forgiving those who have done us wrong: Anger Beware)
Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. You can even have that assurance RIGHT NOW! Either Jesus Christ died for your sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you...please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God, to be at peace with God, to have your sins forgiven, to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity, to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help you understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life, because in Christ, it is impossible to put a value on the worth of your soul in light of eternity.
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Remember: All that we do in this life comes back to our God-given purpose which is to serve and glorify God. The money and assets we accumulate, the fame and power we've attained or seek to attain - all of the things of this nature will one day pass away, but those lives of others we impact for Jesus Christ will last for eternity, and we will be rewarded for the part we helped play by impacting those lives ... for eternity.
(Matthew 6:19-21 is our assurance)