"YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER!"

(By: Will Morales)

Video Testimony

This testimony reveals some realities of what is going on behind the scenes in the spirit realm (of good and evil) that some may have difficulty believing. I highly encourage you to pray and ask and trust God to help you believe what He would have you believe as you read it.  --Norm Rasmussen, Director; Precious Testimonies 

First, to expose Satan's lies and his deceptions. To allow others too know that there is an enemy and he wants our very soul. Furthermore, that God, our heavenly Father is not against us, but for us! Satan continues to use his same old schemes, twisting the truth! 'Did God really say that?' 

Secondly, to release all the shame, guilt and baggage we've been hiding in the closet of our heart for so many years! Simply put, it's coming out of self denial. It's freedom from bondage.

Thirdly, to allow others to see that they are not alone and that there is hope and that there is only one way to TRUE life, and that's only through Jesus Christ.

But most importantly it's too Glorify the Lord -- to exalt Him and give Him thanks for allowing us to begin to SEE (through a new set of eyes) the process of recovering our sanity and reconciling ourselves back to Him, which in turn begins the healing process of finding perfect peace with Him and the world around us.

I would like to pray before we begin:

Dear Lord: Thank you for this opportunity. May this testimony touch the hearts of those who think they are beyond your love and forgiveness. And to encourage those hearts that are struggling with their circumstances and may have forgotten that you are bigger than those circumstances -- that You have not forsaken them!  In Jesus name I ask it, Amen!

NOW FOR MY TESTIMONY

Before I even stepped foot into this world, little did I know I would be fighting for my life. Eight months into my mother's pregnancy; the umbilical cord had wrapped itself around my neck. 

I was pronounced dead; the doctors couldn't detect a heartbeat. And their main mission was to save my mother's life. Mind you, my mother had just had her first born child pass away a year earlier; a week after his initial birth. Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) or crib death was the suspected cause.

My mother had not yet put her complete trust in Jesus Christ, but her mother in-law was a devout Christian and the gospel had been presented to mom plenty of times. It took this moment in her life to fall to her knees and cry out to Jesus and surrender it ALL. Long story short, because that's a testimony of it's own, God answered!

I am here writing to you this very moment, thanks to His divine mercy and grace. Thanks too the power of prayer and to a Grandmother that loved to share the Good News.

I want to bring to your attention this scripture:

I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb.  Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world. (Jeremiah 1:5)

Forty-one years later, I would read this scripture and it would jump out of the pages of the Bible and solidify my purpose in life. 

MY LIFE BEFORE CHRIST

At the age of three, my parents left Cuba and migrated to the states seeking freedom and a better way of life. My memories were of lots of family gatherings, domino games, lechon (Pork feastings) and plenty of alcohol to go around. I can still remember the drinking would always lead to fighting and arguing and it seemed like my father was always involved in them in one way or another. He had an anger problem.

Through my youth my mom was my only spiritual role model. She would faithfully take me to church and I admired the love and faith she had for the Lord. Dad on the other hand would hardly ever go with us. He had more faith in U.F.O.'s and he thought the aliens were coming for us. I remember him sleeping on the top of the roof to see if he could get a glimpse of flying saucers hovering above. No kidding.

My relationship with my dad began to go sour as his alcohol drinking got out of control. My mother and I lived in fear of my father's explosive temper and his verbal abuse. He was also a womanizer, and it began to affect me, as he would embarrass and disrespect us in public. At such a young age I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing to such a wonderful and loving woman. 

Through my middle school and early High School years I was deeply involved in sports and I stayed away from drugs and alcohol. My dream was to make it to the NFL, NBA or the Major Leagues. My junior year of high school, I started to experiment with alcohol and going to parties. During my senior year it got out of control. Alcohol brought out someone in me that I didn't know existed. It lowered my inhibitions and I also began to use other drugs. Alcohol made me cocky and very violent. I started to manifest some of the same traits I despised my father for. 

I JOINED THE MILITARY

I joined the Navy and went off to explore the world and thought I would become a real man and also run from the poor choices I was making.

My years in the military were up and down. For the first time in my life the consequences of drinking and drugs would come to haunt me. While on vacation in Miami, I returned to the naval station and was asked to take a random drug test. I failed it. I was stripped of my Petty Officer rank and back to the bottom of the list.

It was embarrassing and discouraging to say the least. I started to get a crappy attitude and my drinking and drugging escalated. I began to count the days when I would get back home.

I also experienced my first planned abortion with the lady I got pregnant. (I was living a very immoral life and I would suffer the guilt and the shame of the abortion for many years).

These were difficult times for me. I was becoming homesick. My mom would faithfully write to me always encouraging me with scripture. Her favorite was:

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  - Hebrews 13:5 NKJV

I made it out of the military with an honorable discharge and came back home after four years of service. It was the summer of '87, and I immediately fell back into making the same poor choices I left in the first place. The clubs, alcohol, drugs and living an immoral lifestyle became a way of life again. That didn't last too long.  

By January of '88; I was arrested for drug trafficking. This almost destroyed my mother and father. For the first time in my life, I began to realize I needed God's help! I was either going to end up in prison, or in the grave if I didn't make some changes in my life. 

My parents didn't deserve this. They constantly preached to me to stay away from the fast life. But I was allured by the money, power and status that I saw in the big city and the fast lane. It was the big thing where I was and I got caught up in all the hype.

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever."  (1 John 1:15-17 NIV)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS CHASING -- THE LUST OF THE WORLD

A few months later, I met a young lady who invited me to church, where I would ask the Lord to come into my heart. Even though I was raised up in the church, I had never really acknowledged Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. 

My trial came around and I was given two years probation, instead of serving time in federal prison. The Lord graciously spared my family and me of this heartache!

Yet there were areas in my life that I just didn't want to surrender to the Lord, as I experienced this new way of life. One of them was just staying sexually pure before the Lord. With that came another unexpected pregnancy, and yet another abortion.

This abortion caused a riff in the relationship and before we knew it things started to go down hill. I just didn't feel the same towards her; I was holding bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart, and I ended the relationship six months later.  Sin destroys relationships and it kills lives.  It always has and it always will. 

NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE

I met my wife, Denise, a few months later. We knew each other from high school and what started as a friendship, led to wedding plans a year later. 

Little Joshua was born on January 6, 1992. It was one of the best years of my life. I got married to a wonderful wife, my son was born, and we bought our first house. Even though I was on top of the world, my wife may not have always felt the same way.

I knew marriage was suppose to be a good thing, but it was obviously a lot of work and self sacrifice that I was not ready for. I was extremely immature. I didn't help her at all around the house. I had this macho mentality that I saw growing up in my father. I still thought the world revolved around me.

Things got a little better, but through the years, we just started to loose the affection and the love we had for one another. We would go to church, and we would go through the motions of Christianity. I was a pitiful spiritual leader and a poor example of a Godly man to my family. I compromised my faith all the time. I looked for loopholes around the Word of God to justify my behavior. In reality, the fear of the Lord was almost non-existent, and I was so ungrateful.

"But be sure to fear the LORD and sincerely worship him. Think of all the wonderful things he has done for you." (1 Samuel 12:24 NLT) 

On September 22, 1995, the Lord blessed us with a beautiful baby girl, Nicole!

She was full of life and now we seemed to have the perfect family. We were just about to move into a bigger home - nice new neighborhood and life was looking good for those watching us from the outside looking in. Little did they know things weren't that great. My wife and I were getting on each other's nerves and the arguments were becoming more frequent and more intense. 

My relationship with my wife was growing farther apart. We became more focused on our kids and we spent less time with each other. I found a new job, which moved me inside from being outside on the road. Thus I was in front of a computer all day. The world of Internet chatting and pornography was exposed to me. Subtly the enemy began to throw his bait at me, and like a desperate blow fish, I got reeled in easily. 

This new world I encountered began to really build boulders between me and the Lord and of course my wife. I became addicted to chat rooms and cyber sex. Before I knew it, I was living a double life. This led to our separation and after ten years of marriage I left with the excuse that we just didn't feel love for each other anymore. I didn't want too fight for my marriage, and so it was: 'My will be done!'

In April 2002, I moved away and shacked up with a lawyer friend of mine that had a huge house in Miami Beach and he let me live there for a while. This led to going out to bars and clubs once again, which led to a lifestyle of dating and experiencing the worldly pleasures. I knew better, but again, I thought I was going to keep things in moderation. 

I began to meet new friends. Most of them were just like me -- running from their issues and their personal demons. It started slowly, but before I knew it, I was wrapped up in the night scene and after-hour parties. Drugs were everywhere. New drugs I had never heard of or had seen. I was like a lustful vampire! The more I feasted in sexual sin the worse things got. It led to hurting many people, and in the long run hurting those who loved me the most, my immediate family.

I also became an online addict to dating sites. I lied all over my profiles to make myself seem something or someone I wasn't. I repeatedly got caught in lies and my relationships were temporary. I just couldn't be faithful. It's as if I had no feelings or emotions. I just wanted one thing: Self-gratification at all cost. I also became a habitual liar.

My children started to notice the difference. My parents and everyone who knew me were noticing that I was not the same person anymore. 

I lived in the gym to enhance my physique. I became very vain. I was so focused on my outward appearance. I was taking all kinds of performance enhancing drugs and mixing it with all other kinds of psychoactive drugs while I was partying. I was playing Russian roulette with my life. This is what sin does to us. It deceives us to the point that we become so blinded and jaded. Denial becomes our defense mechanism!

After three and half years of living this way, I finally became a full blown addict. What started as a weekend thing became an everyday thing. I just couldn't live without my drugs. I became a loner and I started too realize: I am in a very dark and scary place in my mind.

I started to hate life. Plus, I also put another woman through an abortion - my third. This started to weigh me down. What or who had I become? My heart had turned so hard and so lifeless.

This Proverb comes to mind and it is so true when we are feeding our sinful nature: 

As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. (Proverbs 26:11)

IN SOME DIMENSION OF HELL? 

On May 30, 2006, my life literally almost came to a crashing halt. I went to drop off some drugs to a few friends. And after spending some time using with them, I started to feel some delusions and weird feelings I had never experienced before in my life. I left the restaurant where we were hanging out, and I felt as if evil was surrounding me and it was out to kill me. 

I ran to my vehicle thinking something evil was chasing me. I lost consciousness. And the next thing I started seeing was this huge movie screen playing out my life story. It replayed images of my youth, and present events that were taking place. I then saw images of my parents, my children and wife. They were crying as if they had gotten news that I had died. 

The next thing I remember, I was being transported through the cosmos. I was traveling extremely fast.  I couldn't see anything. I felt as if I was in a dark tunnel.  

The next time I opened my eyes, I was in this place where it was completely dark and there was the feeling of death all over me. I saw people walking around, murmuring and complaining. I saw an old man near me, and I remember fighting my fears. I wanted to go and ask him, 'What was this place?'

I did build up enough courage to ask him and he turned around with this blank stare in his lifeless eyes and murmured at me. I can still remember this as if it were yesterday. I kind of backed away in fear and started to talk to myself and reason within me:  Is this it?  Has death arrived? Is this my final destination? 

I remember I wanted to cry out to God for help, but I didn't have the courage to ask for forgiveness or repentance, based on the life I was living. I was such a hypocrite and a poor excuse for a Christian! Even though I hadn't read the bible all that much and I didn't know the scriptures all that well, this one verse popped into my head:

"Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name? And then I will declare to them,'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness." (Mat 7:22-23 NKJV))

I was wondering: Was I ever really saved in the first place? Did I say that sinner's prayer with a sincere heart? Maybe not!

I was in complete terror! I began wondering if I would ever again see my loved ones again. I had never experienced this kind of fear. I felt so alone and so hopeless!

Next thing I know, I opened my eyes and I was sitting in my car. The phone rang a few minutes later, and I remember it was my dad. I listened in silence and his voice sounded so distorted.

I hung up the phone, and then I started to hear voices in my head, telling me to drive out of there. They were mocking voices, and there was a certain voice that said, 'Let's go take your final joy ride'. 

I wasn't sure what was reality and what was a delusion. It felt as if I was having an out-of-body-experience. 

I finally managed enough courage to drive out of there. I just wanted to get to a safe place. As I was driving, the city lights were bothering me. The noise seemed like it was intensified beyond the norm.

I remember approaching a traffic light and the voice was saying, 'Don't stop. Take the light! Nothing will happen to you.'

Yet I did stop (thank you Lord!). As I was driving towards nowhere land, I saw a car at a distance and the voice was screaming, 'If you want this to go away, then hit the car head on. You will see that all this will end! God doesn't love you or care for you! You're such a hypocrite and a loser!'

I had to make a decision. I just wanted to stop the insanity. I wanted all this to go away, and I also felt that I was too far away from God's forgiveness. I was believing all these lies. I became suicidal.

'IF YOU'RE OUT THERE GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!'

As the car got closer, I started to think: What if there are children in the car? What if I kill those people? But at the same time, I wanted to end all this madness! And from the deepest parts of my soul, I cried out to the Lord for His help! I said these words that I'll never forget, 'If you're out there God, please help me!'

Not a second later, I heard the voice of an angel or Jesus, say, 'You are not a quitter.' 

I paused, and felt silence for a few seconds. Then the voice spoke to me once again and repeated, 'You are not a quitter.' I immediately knew that it was a divine intervention!

I pulled my car to the side of the road and started to cry and scream and praise the Lord with all my heart and soul. I remember feeling such peace and hope, and I just couldn't stop praising the Lord. I was caught up in this experience of love and a joy I had never experienced before. Words can't possibly describe it.

I heard the voice once again, when it instructed me to go to my mother's house where I would be safe. And again it [He?] repeated Himself to me, 'Go to your mother's house where you will be safe', as if He was confirming that He was with me and everything was going to be fine. 

My beloved friends, until this very day, I am not sure what exactly happened that night -- what caused all of this. Drug hallucinations would be the obvious. Sleep deprivation? Possibly a drug overdose might have caused my brain to experience trauma? These seem like valid reasons for my visions and my voices. I have never heard voices in the past or after that experience. 

ETERNAL LOVE CAME TO MY RESCUE AGAIN!

Regardless, in my spirit and in my heart, I know it was the Lord using this to turn my wayward heart back towards Him. I was probably at the end of my rope and God's mercy, and eternal love came to my rescue once again!

I asked the Lord one day for a scripture that would put that event in perspective and confirm to me that what took place that day was biblical. I found the answer in many different verses. But this one is special. I want to read it to you. God always answers, one way or another:

Job 33:15-30 (The Message)

 15-18: "In a dream, for instance, a vision at night, when men and women are deep in sleep, fast asleep in their beds, God opens their ears and impresses them with warnings to turn them back from something bad they're planning, from some reckless choice, and keep them from an early grave, from the river of no return. 

 19-22:  "Or, God might get their attention through pain, by throwing them on a bed of suffering, so they can't stand the sight of food, have no appetite for their favorite treats. They lose weight, wasting away to nothing, reduced to a bag of bones.  They hang on the cliff-edge of death, knowing the next breath may be their last. 

 23-25: "But even then an angel could come, a champion, there are thousands of them!, to take up your cause, A messenger who would mercifully intervene, canceling the death sentence with the words: 'I've come up with the ransom!' Before you know it, you're healed, the very picture of health! 

 26-28: "Or, you may fall on your knees and pray, to God's delight! You'll see God's smile and celebrate, finding yourself set right with God. You'll sing God's praises to everyone you meet, testifying, 'I messed up my life' and let me tell you, it wasn't worth it. But God stepped in and saved me from certain death. I'm alive again! Once more I see the light!' 

 29-30: "This is the way God works. Over and over again He pulls our souls back from certain destruction so we'll see the light, and live in the light!" 

Awesome, right? How much clearer can that be?!

MY NEW LIFE IN CHRIST

The next day, I woke up and I had a change of heart and a new outlook on life. All this to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. He revived my soul. He had given me a new song in my heart. He placed in me a love for His Word. He placed in me the joy of His Salvation! I can honestly and thankfully say these words today, 'My Redeemer Lives!' 

I realize today that I took so many things for granted. The love of family; the love of my fellow man; the beauty of His Creation; the joy of life, and many other things I just didn't value. But the most important thing I took for granted was the love He demonstrated for me on the Cross of Calvary! 

I took His grace for granted and I am thankful that we have such a merciful and wonderful God that loves us and continues to fight for us despite our rebellious attitudes and our egocentric ways.

One thing I know for sure -- there is nothing He treasures more than when we have a relationship dependent up on Him and not based on our carnal mind and our ability to fix ourselves and our problems.

For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. (Romans 8:6-7)

After that experience, it was as if a passion for the Lord was birthed in me. I fell in love with my Savior, and I had to let the world know what an awesome God I served. I no longer wanted to be a spectator in the pews. I wanted to be part of the team, Christ's team! I had to serve in some capacity. Worship became my new addiction. I love to sing to my Lord! I would catch myself crying all the time, because of His goodness and mercy. I was literally broken before God. His love humbled me.

Many things started to change. Desires I had never known came alive in me. A love for lost souls; a love for humanity; a love to please and know this God that I thought I knew, but yet I really didn't. 

I believe I was baptized by fire. The Holy Spirit began to reveal things to me I had never understood. God became so tangible!

'But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.' (Acts 1:8)

The Lord has been so gracious to me. He has restored so many things that I practically gave away to Satan. One of the most amazing things was the restoration of my marriage to Denise. My wife and I were reconciled two years ago (as of 2011), after seven years of separation, and I thank God everyday for allowing my children to be partakers of His forgiving power and His amazing grace! 

My father gave His life to the Lord while I was giving my testimony for the first time at my mother's church. Today we have an amazing relationship. I have been blessed with the opportunity to teach the Word of God on Sunday mornings at Caring for Miami at our Downtown Campus - to feed the spiritual food to the under-resourced Community and Youth Ministry. And I have found a Ministry right here with C.F. Recovery. What a joy to serve along great brothers and sisters that have been down the same road I have traveled and able to help others. 

We are ALL a potential living testimony that with God, all things are possible to those who believe and choose too surrender their wills to the King of all creation, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

LET ME WRAP THINGS UP WITH AN ILLUSTRATION

Going back to the very beginning of my pre-existence. There was a seed that was deposited into my mother's womb, which led to conceiving my embryo. I was developing and growing in her pancreas and while I was connected to the umbilical cord, there were no complications, but once the umbilical cord got tangled, it stopped the proper nourishing and it began to choke the life out of me. 

This is exactly what happens to us in the natural course of life. The seed is the Word of God -- deposited in us when we first believe in the gospel. But bad decisions; poor choices; feeding on the junk of the world instead of the pure Word of God chokes it out of us at times. And the reproduction system comes to a halt. Sanctification stalls.

"Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful." (Matt. 13:22 NLT)

But when we walk close to Him and when we are led by His Spirit, He is faithful to complete what He started. The Holy Spirit will continue to properly feed us while we are connected to His umbilical cord. But the minute we disconnect ourselves from Him, and we think we can walk alone and we start to entangle ourselves with the things of this world, the lifeline is severed and we begin to experience spiritual death and decay.

I realize today - that just as a baby is experiencing his development in his or her mother's womb, before he or she is birthed into the new world - we as believers in Christ must also go through this process of sanctification through trials and tribulations, so that our spiritual eyes are continuously awaken to new levels of reality (truth) in the spiritual realm so that we may be able to see clearly the Kingdom of God.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot SEE the Kingdom of God." (John 3:3 NLT)

I am still a work in progress. I am recovering from all the pain and damage I had inflicted on myself and others, but the difference is, I have been able to forgive myself and I know I am completely forgiven by the Lord. 

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NAS)

I can see clearly down the road today and the road - even though it is often difficult and narrow - it is worth every sacrifice and suffering that I endure for the gospel's sake, because now I know it is for a greater cause. It is for our Lord and Savior who paid the price for ALL of our sins: Past, present and future sins. What an awesome God!

I don't know if you are aware of this, but we are all created for God's Glory. 

These verses were written so we can internalize them, so allow the Lord to speak to your heart while you read the following words from Isaiah 43:1-7 (The Message):

But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob, the One who got you started, Israel:

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end, Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you."

7"So don't be afraid: I'm with you. I'll round up all your scattered children, pull them in from east and west. I'll send orders north and south: 'Send them back. Return my sons from distant lands, my daughters from faraway places. I want them back, every last one who bears my name, every man, woman, and child Whom I created for my glory, yes, personally formed and made each one.'" 

If you are not right with God this very moment, and you WANT to be, (and you can KNOW whether you are right with Him or not by the peace - or lack of peace - in your heart), call out to Him this very moment and sincerely tell Him that you are READY to get right with Him no matter what it takes. If you're sincere, I assure you He'll take you up on it. Just be patient and don't try to figure Him out. He'll move on your heart in His own way and in His own time. It might happen in a second from now, or it might get delayed some. God knows what He is doing, don't you Jesus?! 

Thank you for your time! To God be all the Glory! --Will  

Email:  willmorales64@gmail.com

PLEASE HELP US HELP YOU SHARE THE BEST NEWS GOD HAS FOR EVERY PERSON BECAUSE...

JESUS DID IT! and...

YOU ARE SO GREATLY NEEDED!

Remember:  All that we do in this life comes back to our God-given purpose which is to serve and glorify God. The money and assets we accumulate, the fame and power we've attained or seek to attain - all of the things of this nature will one day pass away, but those lives of others we impact for Jesus Christ will last for eternity, and we will be rewarded for the part we helped play by impacting those lives ... for eternity. (Matthew 6:19-21 is our assurance)