CHANGE OF HEART

(By: Peggy Curl)

There once was a time when I did a lot of runin' and gunin' doing things that today I'm not so proud of.  On top of it all I added drugs and alcohol to my madness. I remember one day walking past the bathroom mirror and not even recognizing the person looking back at me. I was a shell of a woman that I did not know. I got close to the face and stared into her eyes and saw the most empty sorrow that I will never forget. There was nothing there ... it scared me! Life was not good and I knew it. Looking back now I can see that I had virtually no life inside of me, only darkness. My life even with my three wonderful children had no meaning.

I believe that I still had an ounce of faith somewhere deep down inside that carried me to the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. I sat there listening to people talking about their higher power, and how much it helped them. When I asked someone how I could get some of this God thing, they told me to write down on paper what kind of God I had in my life, and on another piece of paper write down what I would like God to be. When I was finished they told me to keep the paper of the one that I wanted God to be and to throw away the other. So I did.

Growing up in a "religious" church, my God was for me a very strict and punishing God. So of course I decided to keep the cool God who I made up to cater to me and only me. I was soon learning to be selfish and self-seeking. I hung onto Him for seven long years and I stayed drug and alcohol free but still very much in the dark. I started to realize how alone I felt inside - I needed more.

I started going to church and every time I would walk in one I would always sit in the back of the room and cry, not knowing why. Then I would need to leave early because I knew something was happening to me and I was scared of it!  I ran from church to church until the night of Easter evening, 1997. I was sitting with my head in my hands crying listening to the pastor thinking that he was talking directly to me. I was wondering who told him what to say. Did someone tell him how I felt? How would they know? Just then like so many other times in my life I felt a hand resting on my heart, only this time I knew it was the hand of God. Not the one I made up to keep me sober, but God our creator.

Since that night I have never felt alone or in the dark. I pray and He hears me. I read God's word and He is there for understanding, and He is inside me for guidance. He is wonderful. The more I read, the more I feel. The more I feel, the closer I get to knowing Him. Jesus is opening my heart more and more each day. Now when I pass by a mirror, I see a woman with the Lord in her heart and spirit in her eyes.

It is through Jesus I found complete and total freedom!

Thank you and God bless you for taking the time to read my testimony. I pray that it has helped encourage you in some way. If you would like to talk with me about anything I've shared, please don't hesitate to contact me.  

I can be reached at PeggyCurl@msn.com.

Peggy Curl

Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. You can even have that assurance RIGHT NOW! Either Jesus Christ died for your sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you...please don't make such a tragic mistake. 

To get to know God, to be at peace with God, to have your sins forgiven, to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity, to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help you understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life, because in Christ, it is impossible to put a value on the worth of your soul in light of eternity.

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Remember:  All that we do in this life comes back to our God-given purpose which is to serve and glorify God. The money and assets we accumulate, the fame and power we've attained or seek to attain - all of the things of this nature will one day pass away, but those lives of others we impact for Jesus Christ will last for eternity, and we will be rewarded for the part we helped play by impacting those lives ... for eternity. (Matthew 6:19-21 is our assurance)