(By: Steve Miller)

I was brought up Jewish, and I never heard the gospel. We were somewhat Orthodox. We considered ourselves Orthodox, but really we just followed whatever rules we wanted to. Some rules we kept very strict, and the most important things we didn't keep at all. 

So I never heard the gospel until I was going away to college. On the plane, going to school, I was quite scared. This guy sitting next to me was also going to school, but to be a minister. He said to me, 'You look like you're Jewish. That's really good. You're God's chosen people.' This made me think that I didn't need to be saved. He gave me a tract. It was about the blood of Jesus and sacrifices, and I didn't understand it at all. It made me sick. But I was really scared going to college, so I kept the tract under my pillow and prayed to God that I could find some friends there. 

Then at school I really got corrupted because that was the year during the Vietnam war when all the students were rebelling on campus, and we didn't have any grades. Also, everything I took at school that year, I had already taken in High School so I hardly had to go to class at all. By my junior year, I was sick of life. I didn't see any reason to do anything.

At that time there moved into my fraternity house a freshman who had recently been saved. He was not a member of the fraternity, but the university put some freshman to stay in our house to help us pay the rent. He was always preaching about Jesus. One day I just thought, 'Maybe this will help.' I went with him to a meeting, and there I was surprised to at how happy everyone was. Everyone seemed so happy and the happiness seemed so real. I talked with them and went home. Some invited me over for dinner, so I came. I was really surprised; everything in their house seemed so blessed. I thought, "This is the way people should live." But I still didn't believe in the Lord, so I didn't come back anymore. 

After that I started thinking about the Lord. 'There must be a God. There just must be." I thought this from just looking around at nature. Then when I went home to Baltimore, I picked up a tract; I read it, I prayed and I got saved. I just believed in the Lord. I didn't know why I believed. I told my friend, and he asked me, 'Why are you saved? Why do you believe this?' I didn't have any reason. I told him, 'OK, I guess I'll just have to study some more about religions.' But I never did. Inside me I believed in the Lord, but I wouldn't say it. 

That summer then, while I was at home, I tried to be good. I tried to seek the Lord. The main thing I tried was to be good to my parents because I had been really bad to my parents. But I couldn't do it. I really felt no good.

Then the time came to go back to school. I dreaded going back to school. I didn't want to live back in that fraternity house anymore. But there was nothing else to do, so I went back to school. I was there a few days, and then my best friend and I both quit school and went traveling. While we were traveling, I picked up a Bible and started reading Genesis. I read just the first few pages and I believed it right away. I said, 'Wow!' It just seemed to explain everything. I just kept reading the Bible. I believed the Bible, but I didn't really know the Lord at all. I just believed the Bible, and I believed Jesus was the Messiah, but I didn't know Him at all.

I was trying to find a church then to go to. I couldn't find one. I went back to school in Cleveland. I got in touch with that brother who had preached the gospel to me before. I told him, "I want to get baptized in your church." He brought me to a meeting. Wow, I couldn't believe how glorious everything was. It seemed that everyone was shining. Brothers there remembered me, so they came over, and I told them all how I had gotten saved. 

We got into an argument because I didn't believe Jesus was God. I didn't believe that. This brother showed me some verses, including Isaiah 9:6. I couldn't explain Isaiah 9:6, but I wasn't convinced either. I went over to his house the next day, and we pray-read John chapter 14. 

First one brother was pray-reading, then another brother was pray-reading, but I was just watching. Then the brother said to me, 'It's your turn. Your spirit's connected to your mouth.' He pointed for me to read verse 9 in which Jesus said, "He who has seen Me has seen the Father." 

But I said, without knowing what I was saying, "Your spirit's connected to your mouth! Then I'll start at the beginning!" 

I started reading verse 1: "Let not your heart be troubled," and just when I started reading I felt something started moving in my heart. Something started rising up. My heart had been very troubled because I could not know if Jesus was God or not. I felt that Jesus Himself was speaking the words to me in my heart as I read them. I just felt so much joy. 

Then I read more and Jesus continued speaking, "You believe in God, believe also in Me." I felt it was so simple. I believed in God. I also believed in Jesus. How could I believe in Jesus if He was not God?! 

I just started laughing, and we started dancing around the house. On my way home, I was rubbing my heart; it just felt so good. That Friday I was baptized. Then I felt the same thing, but even stronger.

steve@voiceInWilderness.info  

www.voiceInWilderness.info  

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