(By: Fiona Hewitt)

I grew up in a Christian home.  From an early age I was taught how Jesus loved me and died for my sins. At the age of five I went along to a Christian barn dance with my parents and that night I gave my heart to Jesus. I remember having great joy in my heart that night and jumping up and down in my bed with happiness. I told my parents, and of course they were delighted. 

I was blessed to have loving parents and a brother and a sister whom I adored. However, things started to go wrong for me around the age of 10. We moved to a different area, which meant moving to a different school. I found it hard to settle in. I remember people didn't want to be my friend. They made fun of my accent and made me feel like an outcast. I had teachers who drew attention to my lower academic ability. I remember feeling like a failure and so desperately sad and lonely. 

When I moved to high school, things did not get much better. I was wrecked with insecurities and although I made some friends, I felt like I needed to be someone I was not. Eventually these friends turned on me and I became a victim of their hate campaign.  

At this point I moved to another school and was determined to do whatever it took to fit in. By the age of 16 I had completely turned my back on God. I was more interested in gaining the acceptance of my peers and so I began to drink, smoke and sneak into nightclubs - all the time lying to my parents. 

At the age of 19 I moved away from home and went to a University. With this came the party lifestyle of heaving drinking, partying and men. God was the furthest thing from my mind, and although I thought I was happy during this time, looking back, I wasn't really fulfilled. 

When I left the University and returned home, I fell into a deep depression. I had broken up with my boyfriend. I had lost all my friends, as they were either moved away or settled in relationships. I was struggling in learning to drive and I was unemployed for a period of one year and half. It was during this time I started to consult psychics, as I wanted to find out when my circumstances were going to change. Unfortunately for me, this developed into an unhealthy obsession, and I became fascinated with anything to do with New Age. I bought tarot cards and began to read them for myself and others. I was told I was quite good at this. I eventually got a job and passed my driving test and made some friends, but this did not bring me happiness. 

My job as a social worker was extremely stressful and I developed anxiety attacks, depression, and was put on medication. I continued to go out drinking in bars and nightclubs with my friends. I drifted from several short term relationships with men, but was always left experiencing a lot of disappointment and rejection. I felt like this was another area of my life that I was a failure. I was lonely and my self esteem was at rock bottom. I continued to consult psychics, always thinking the next one was going to give me the answers I needed. They never did. 

For a while things did improve slightly. I got a new job which I enjoyed, and I felt less stressed. However, I always felt like there was something missing -- a void that couldn't be filled no matter what I tried. 

At the age of 31, I felt I had hit a crossroad in my life. I was looking around me comparing myself to others and wanting what they had. I couldn't understand why I couldn't find happiness like they had, and felt very low about this. I felt like I was a failure. 

Then something wonderful happened. God intervened. He started convicting me of my sin, and orchestrated a series of events and put people in my way to bring me back to Him. It started with me not enjoying going out drinking as much and I decided I really didn't need to drink to have a good time. Then I started to take more of an interest in what was going on in the world and watching the news. I became increasingly worried about the economic crisis and how the recession and money cuts were impacting on my profession and workplace. Watching the news, I became concerned about all the natural disasters and fighting that was going on in the world.

One day I was working on a recruitment stand for my job when a man came over to talk to me. Out of the blue he asked me what church I went to and I told him I didn't attend church. He talked to me about how he became a Christian and was on his way to give a talk to prisoners about Jesus. He wrote down the name of his church and invited me to try it out some time. The man was very attractive (God knew how to get my attention!) and I considered going to the church, but when I told my friends about this they laughed hysterically and I put the experience to the back of my head. But God wasn't for giving up on me.

A month later I was talking to a relative I hadn't seen for awhile and through conversation we got talking about what was going on in the world. She told me that all events that I was worried about were signs of the times, and indicated Jesus return was near. In the same conversation she talked to me how popular it was becoming now for the media, celebrities and famous singers to be involved in the occult, and this could be seen even in their lyrics, songs and imagery and symbols in films, which again was a sign of end times being near (She did not know that I had dabbled in such things previously). She didn't preach to me, but what she said was enough for me to start thinking about this and I thought maybe I should go to church and see if I liked it.

One week I decided I would go to church on the Sunday but heavy snow came and I got snowed in and couldn't leave the house. But God used this time to work on me. I had this overwhelming urge to pick up my mother's bible, and I opened it at Deuteronomy 18:10 - 11, which warns of the dangers of the occult practices which are an "abomination to the Lord". I read the commentary beside it and it referred to another passage in the bible, Leviticus 20:6, in which God warns he will "set his face " against anyone who "turns to those who have familiar spirits and to wizards." He compares this to people "prostituting" themselves instead of turning to their maker. The passage went on to say that our faith must be in God and God alone. We cannot serve two masters and we can not expect to live peaceful, joy filled lives that He intended for us if we look to other sources. I was immediately convicted of my sin and was hit with the realization that for all these years, I had been willing to put my faith in psychics but not God. I also came to the realization that if Jesus came today I would not be certain I would be going to heaven. I was overcome with sadness at the realization that I had rejected and hurt Jesus all these years.  

I couldn't carry on another day with knowing this, and I got down on my hands and knees, repenting for my sins over and over again, and asked Jesus into my heart. Afterwards, I had a peace and assurance like I'd never experienced before.

 I AM SPECIAL TO GOD

My life, however, did not change overnight. Whilst I continued to read the bible and pray, it took me awhile before I felt brave enough to tell people I had become a Christian, and it wasn't until three months later that I managed to join a church. But God continued to work in me during this time, and through reading His word. I was left in no doubt of how real HE is, and how much He loved me and how I was special to Him. 

I started going to church with my cousin and began to get to know other Christians and found that I really enjoyed this! A year and half has passed and the Lord has changed me a lot within this time. He's answered many prayers and turned situations around that I thought were impossible. I'm a lot calmer these days. I don't worry as much as I used to and I am completely delivered from depression, anxiety and my unhealthy interest in the occult. I now have no need to worry or search from any answers from anyone other than God, as I know He has a plan for my life and is in complete control.  

There are things that He is still working on in my life, such as my confidence and self esteem. Not everything has been easy. I have been going through some very challenging things recently with health, work and family issues. But God is carrying me through these things and I have faith that he will turn things around and I can rely on him as he hasn't let me down once when I have cried out for his help. 

A few years ago - without God in my life - I would not have been able to cope with these things in the way that I have now. I was heading for a lifetime of misery and destruction and ultimately hell if I continued believing Satan's lies and leading the sinful life.  

I would just like to say one more thing about those people that are worried about loved ones that are not saved or have drifted away from God. Never give up praying for them! My mum prayed for me for 31 years until her prayers were answered, even down to her very specific request of what church I should attend!  Even though I strayed for many years - being brought up in a loving Christian home by my parents - without a doubt many spiritual seeds were planted in my mind from an early age. My parents own faith in God and how they have dealt with some of the difficult things in life has been a testimony in itself for me.  

I thank God everyday that whilst I left him for many years, He never left me and He welcomed me back with open arms. I also thank Him that I had parents and family members who prayed for my salvation faithfully. God is so lovely and awesome and I just Love him.

PLEASE HELP US HELP YOU SHARE THE BEST NEWS GOD HAS FOR EVERY PERSON BECAUSE...

JESUS DID IT! and...

YOU ARE SO GREATLY NEEDED!

Remember:  All that we do in this life comes back to our God-given purpose which is to serve and glorify God. The money and assets we accumulate, the fame and power we've attained or seek to attain - all of the things of this nature will one day pass away, but those lives of others we impact for Jesus Christ will last for eternity, and we will be rewarded for the part we helped play by impacting those lives ... for eternity. (Matthew 6:19-21 is our assurance)