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Jesus Did It! (By: John Cramphorn)
EDITORIAL NOTE: John Cramphorn became trapped in the occult. He entered into the arena of a person allowing supposedly 'helpful - advanced spirits' to take over his body, yet never realizing it was demons all along. If you are unknowledgeable about 'channeling spirits' , unknowledgeable about how deceptive demons can be, we highly encourage you to read John's eye-opening testimony.
John has written a precious book about his life, and although this testimony is much longer than most we publish, we believe God wants us to make much of his book available for the Lord to use as He wills.
We've omitted much of John's younger life growing up, but have published most of what John shares about his spiritual side of life, and his battles -- to come to the TRUE reality of what is REALLY going on in the spirit realm.
...and how the spirit realm interplays with people on this planet.
Prologue
Trapped In A Spiritual Battle
He went ballistic; he was so annoyed and angry he turned glowing red in color as if flames of fire were coming from every orifice. In front of my very eyes, he changed into this unrecognizable creature of pure evil and hatred. Hatred just emanated from every part of his body, as I stood there transfixed by this presence. A presence of unadulterated evil and wickedness, he had a hatred for humanity, which words cannot justify or express. Fear penetrated every part of my body, mind and soul. With this heightened awareness, I felt Satan's grip on my life had somewhat been shaken and he had been knocked back by my response. I was stuck in this strange spiritual world, a world I didn't know how to escape from; moreover I was up against a fallen arch angel bent on my destruction.
'Why me?' I cried out. How had I reached this point in time? Maybe it was the sexual abuse as a child that had sparked off this endlessly destructive cycle in my life. Perhaps it was going into Local Authority care at such a critical time in my early development that had vandalized and ruined my young mind.
My understanding screamed out, I was in a world of chaos and bitterness, carrying a terrible sense of a loss in my heart that could never be made good. I was lost and gone astray in every sense and I didn't know how to get off this path of evil that I had been walking. This path that lead to destruction in every way.
Why had my three trusted spirit guides deceived me? Nothing made sense anymore. My eyes were opened to see the counterfeit truth.
Like many people, I had fallen for Satan's lies, counterfeit spirituality, and all the benefits it allegedly had in store. Its promises were a life of enlightenment and self-discovery, but in reality, it led only to a path of pain, hurt and lies.
Chapter 1: 9/11
As with the death of Princess Diana or the assassination of President Kennedy, most of us can recall where they were and what they were doing when they first heard the sad and horrific accounts of the events on September 11, 2001 (often referred to as 9/11).
On that morning, nineteen terrorists, affiliated to Al-Qaeda, hijacked four commercial passenger jet airlines. The hijackers intentionally crashed two of the airliners (American Airlines Flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175) into the World Trade Center in New York City, one plane into each tower resulting in the collapse of both buildings soon afterward and extensive damage to nearby buildings.
I take for granted that most people in the civilized world watched with horror as the television pictures were broadcast around the world. I personally felt numb to my very soul, saddened that any cause or endeavor warranted such action. How could man have reached such a low point in human evolution, moreover considered, planned and carried out such a barbaric attack. This act of wickedness goes down in history as one of man's darkest moments.
I listened to the car radio on my way home from work that day, trying to glean the slightest bit of up to date news, still in utter shock. I watched the expressions of other car drivers as we were all stationary in routine traffic. Drivers changing channels with a look of sheer disbelief on their faces. Their mood and look seemed to match my own.
I arrived home; the news headlines seemed more real than ever, as I watch the horrific news footage of people jumping to their deaths from the twin towers. Their sole aim was to avoid the furnace-like heat: what a choice.
Again, I felt sick to my stomach as I watched two airplanes fly into the twin towers. How could anyone commit such a barbaric act? What was their motivation, and what drove them to justify their actions? All these thoughts just kept swimming around my mind like a swirling fog of madness.
It was our church personal development assembly that same night. I was a member of a local spiritualist church, a small congregation of 60 regular attendees. Most people had their own reasons for attending. Some went to talk or communicate with their so called departed relatives. Some went out of curiosity; some people were drawn to the spiritual side of this so called new age religion. Me, I just wanted to be the best of the best. What an ego I had.
I do recall that I did not want to go that evening, as my mind was all over the place, but I had to go. I had started a development program; indeed, I was several weeks into developing and honing my clairvoyant skills and, as I mentioned earlier, I had to be 'the best of the best'.
I do recall the regular parishioners for this mid week session were somewhat smaller in number than normal, I thought this was due to the events of 9/11. We would usually sit in a large circle. This was considered normal practice, as it helped us to develop our medium-ship skills. I felt it had a symbolic meaning, but never really questioned the reason for this.
I do recall we started as usual with a CD playing soothing, meditative music in the background; this had the effect of altering the mood of the group. This would then allow us to slow our breathing rate down and enter a more meditative state of mind. After several minutes, I felt myself enter a more relaxed, open and suggestive state of mind. Indeed, once in this state of openness, one could receive and interact with one's spirit guides.
We were taught by the senor medium to use various techniques, this was usually using symbolic pictures, such as visualizing a flower opening one petal at a time in our mind, whilst breathing in a specific, ordered way. We would then work at opening various points on our body, starting with the head or crown shankra, working our way through the process. These are known as (shankra points).
After approximately 10 minutes of sitting in circle and deep into this altered suggestive state of mind, I had an out of body experience. This is where your soul leaves the body and goes into the spirit realm.
When one has an out of body experience (sometimes known as astral projection), the normal physical laws of this world do not apply. Time and space alter and take on spiritual laws, which are different from our physical limitations.
The Bible tells us in Ephesians 2:2 that Satan is the Prince of the air. Satan is no mere earth bound enemy. The Bible calls this realm the second heaven. The first heaven is the atmosphere ' the clouds. The devil and his angels live in what's called second heaven. God lives in the 3rd heaven. God's angels also operate in the 2nd heaven alongside the devil and his angels. I now know it was in this realm, the second heaven, where I had had this out of body experience.
When I became a Christian, the Holy Spirit put it on my heart that this was a spiritual frontier, a battle ground, the dimension known today as the spirit realm. It is here that angels and demons wage their war for individual souls, families, towns and even cities.
Satan, the king of emptiness and all his deceiving spirits, fallen angels and demonic hordes reign over all the world's darkness, torment and despair.
In this spirit realm, I recall I was in the presence of my three spirit guides. Within the time it takes for you to read this sentence, I was spiritually looking at the twin towers, all twisted and reduced to a pile of rubble. I was seeing the aftermath of this carnage form a spiritual stance in the spirit world. It was rather like a black and white negative photograph. An exact copy of the physical bricks and mortar, but in a spiritual sense.
I was behind this physical barrier, a wall of what appeared to be clear, transparent glass or crystal, impenetrable. It was as if God had placed this protective shield around this site. (Psalm 23 says, 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.2) With me were many thousands of spiritual beings, all very menacing, and sense of evil was all round me.
These deceiving spirits appeared twisted and perverted beyond recall. A clear sense of rebellion was thick in the air, not even excused by ignorance, they could never be redeemed, I knew deep down that they hated God, but could not comprehend in my mind that I was on their side at that time. 2 Corinthians 4:4 tells us, 'The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of glory of Christ, who is the image of God.'
My spirit guides told me later that the spirit realm was angry with man for such acts. This was to reassure me that the evil that surrounded me that night was not directed at me, they were there to protect me and keep me safe.
On the other side of this transparent glass screen, I saw splendid beings of light, angelic in appearance. Their task was to take the souls of the departed to be with God. They were very commanding, I recall, and very bright. I recall that they appeared to spiral upwards, holding the grayish human forms in their arms. I saw many angels at work in perfect co-ordination; they seemed to carry these souls with tender, loving care. What struck me was that there seemed to be no rush, no panic, they had a job to perform and they took great pride in this God given task. They knew the truth and the truth set them free, free to undertake their Master's business.
Jesus himself taught us in Luke's gospel about the work of angels and ministering spirits in chapter 16. 'The time came when the beggar (Lazarus) died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side.' What became of Lazarus' body is not stated in the Bible. It may have been cast into the potter's field (a place where the 'unclean' in biblical times were buried). Worn out with hunger, pain, and want of all earthly things, he died and was carried by angels.
Here is a man who, in his earthly life, had not a single friend, and now, suddenly, not one, but many angels wait upon him. His body may have had no pall-bearers, but angels carried his soul.
Abraham's side, or bosom, was a place of paradise in the Old Testament; the place where the souls of good men remained during the time between death and the resurrection. A place of rest, where Abraham welcomed his children; heavenly bliss. The Jews spoke of those who went to 'Abraham's heavenly abode' or Abraham's bosom.
My spirit guides escorted me back to my physical body. As usual, we started the process of coming out of our meditative state. I felt reassured in one sense that I had seen these angelic beings of light talking the souls of the dead to be with Him in paradise.
I shared my encounter with the rest of the group, which was normal practice, overshadowed by a picture of Jesus on the church wall. Each person had a different experience to share. When I explained to my senor mentor and teacher this evil presence, she just smiled knowingly and said, 'That is why you have your spirit guides with you. They will protect you.'
The Bible teaches us in 1 Timothy 4: 1: 'The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.'
When I read this scripture with new insight, I reflected on the rise of the new age religions in the world today. The way these false systems have spread like a pandemic plague is accurately described here by Timothy. People have given themselves willingly and heeded the advice given by deceiving spirits and doctrines taught by demons. False teachers indwelt by evil spirits who deceive the unwary, inspired by demons whose source of power is the devil himself, the father of lies.
In the year 2008, the occult appears to be running out of control in every facet of our society. Even people who say they are practicing Christians read their horoscopes and know their 'star sign'. I fervently believe that this is just one of the ways that demonic influence has infiltrated the church of Jesus Christ some 2000 years later.
The Holy Spirit warned the church from the beginning that the truth of the gospel would be under attack. Demonic influences would attempt to lead believers astray and false teachers would lie through their back teeth in order to spread their own version of vagueness and counterfeit lies. Spiritualism is just one of these ever growing false religions that Satan uses to trap the unsuspecting.
You might not be tempted to sacrifice a lamb on an altar to Satan, but dabbling in the occult can seem pretty innocent, harmless fun to the undiscerning. You may consider it's no big deal to just read your horoscope or watch mediums on the television. Any fascination with the supernatural can open you up to direct demonic influence. God alone is the only acceptable source of power.
One must always judge the foundation of the teachings you receive. The Bible tells us that Satan appears as an angel of light. He masked his true identity and his servants will also mask theirs. On the surface, they appear to be very nice and friendly and genuine. Just because a teacher has a winning smile and quotes the Bible, it doesn't mean that he teaches the truth.
Satan quoted scripture when he was testing Jesus in the desert. The spiritualist church I attended had pictures of Jesus on the walls. Some mediums held a crucifix when interacting with the spirit realm. They had an old Bible on display, but never read it. We sang hymns and said prayers, all the same religious trappings that you would expect to find in a traditional church.
Chapter 2: God's Own Country
My earliest childhood memories date back to the 1960s. We lived in a small, three-bed roomed house three miles from Dudley town (England). The family consisted of me, my two brothers and my mother and father. My father was a metalworker by trade, and my mother a nurse.
In our family, poverty was a way of life. My parents had always found it hard to make ends meet, although they did their best, and I recall that they always provided for our needs in some way or another.
My parents began to have problems in their marriage, and us kids were sent to foster homes. I recall the day a team of social workers arrived to take us into care. My older brother and I went with two social workers, a man and a woman, in their Morris Minor car. I will always remember that the color was green.
My younger brother went straight to foster parents, and I did not see him again for a long time.
We arrived at a local children's home feeling utterly rejected and confused. We didn't really know where we were. It was a very depressing environment. The other children in our new world were fierce and very disobedient. We had joined a gang of abandoned young people who were on the path to self-destruction in every way.
There was a tension that seemed to encompass all the inhabitants of the home. It was a world of bullying and self-survival. I recollect that we weren't there very long; the home was a transition place until we could be placed in foster care.
Being taken into care was like being in a swirling haze of darkness. I was continually trying to make sense of where I was, but being overpowered by the circumstances and events that filled my young and naive mind.
There was a tedium and stupidity to the whole situation; it seemed so unreal, like a nightmare that I couldn't escape from. No one would tell me anything. Why am I here? Why can't I go home? Where are my parents and younger brother? I tried to listen to the staff and hoped I'd be lucky enough to catch a few snippets of their adult conversations about our arrival. I tried to make sense of the situation, in my own small and very naive mind.
Nevertheless, just as I began to get some sense and reason to this crisis in my life, I became utterly confused again at this present reality. Why didn't they answer my questions? Why had they tricked me? I was lost and didn't know how to get back home.
I rapidly formed a distrust for adults and put up a barrier, it was 'them and me'. Every adult I had ever known had let me down, told lies or abused me, so why should they be any different.
My whole life was falling apart, nothing made sense anymore. However, worst of all, I knew it hadn't always been like this.
I was alone and felt that no one cared. I hated them, those adults in authority and I let them know it. I would try to fight them but they were physically stronger than me and would pin me down to the floor and hold me there until I became calmer.
It was around this time that I sensed or became aware of a spiritual dimension to my life. I had a total distrust for any adults, especially those in power. I was not going to tell them about my spiritual helper who came and gave me insight into people's lives. He gave me premonitions of future events and I used them to help me in practical ways. The more I trusted in my helper, the stronger the link became. I started catching glimpses of spiritual beings and felt a total disregard for people's feelings and their emotions.
I could quite easily pay no attention to people who were crying out for help or in trouble; I was devoid of any physical or psychological attachment to my fellow human beings. I had built a brick wall around me, and nothing was going to penetrate that wall of hardness, or hurt me again. I had developed an ability to cut myself off from any physical affection that people tried to show towards me. I always questioned their motives and formed a picture in my mind that they were out to hurt me in some way.
It was then that I had another strange experience, an experience that would cause me to question my human nature in many ways.
I didn't see anything, I only felt this warmth come all over my childhood body. I have never shared this experience with any one else until writing this chapter. I felt a strange sense of peace and love that words cannot express envelop me. A calm reassurance that spoke to my spirit. There was stillness in my angry body and mind for the first time that I can recall. Was it real? Yes, it was real. I have never questioned that this experience saved me from a path of further self-destruction. This warmth sparked a seed in my mind that someone did care for me, far more than I knew.
Was it Jesus? Looking back, I now believe that it was. He spoke to my spirit and stilled the raging seas of my mind. Moreover, he put a seed in my mind that one day I would be a teacher. I have questioned this all my life: a teacher - a lad who, at that time was unable to read and write, and who left school barely able to read and write? Only with the passing of time will this question be answered and, to some extent, I am still waiting for this to be fulfilled. Our time in foster care came to an end when my parents got back together, and my two brothers and I returned home to our parents. Shortly afterwards, we moved house. This time we moved about a mile away to Musk Lane in Lower Gornal.
Chapter 3: Growing up
I started senior school at Ellowes Hall, a large comprehensive school. I was in the bottom class of the bottom stream, and was proud of that fact as most of my mates were there also. Most of the lads had tried smoking at some point, and watching the senior lads smoking around the traditional smoker's corner made me envious. I wanted to emulate them.
I soon took to this like a duck to water, and joined the ranks of smokers, a group challenging the authority of the school in every way we could. They said we could not smoke, we showed them we could.
I was caught red handed by a teacher and marched off for due punishment and the normal warnings that accompanied being caught smoking. After several sessions like this, the teacher finally caned me. This went on all throughout my school years; it was like cat and mouse games. The teachers knew who we were, and on wet days, they did not even bother to find us. It was a game.
I was thirteen when I got my first tattoo: a small knife on my left arm. I was the first boy in school to get a tattoo. At games the teacher spotted the tattoo, he reported me to the Headmaster, who informed my parents. They were not bothered; they gave me the money in the first place. I was threatened with being expelled from school if I had any more, but let off with a warning.
It was around this time that I met Lin, my wife of 24 years as I write this account of my life in the year 2007. We met at the local youth club, and I was 12 or 13 years old at the time. Lin was three years older, and we became very good friends. Lin could see something in me that I could not see in myself. Our paths would cross quite regularly over the next several years, but that happened later.
The next three years was pretty much the same thing, except I looked much older than my physical years portrayed. I was always the one fetching the cigarettes or alcohol, as I looked the oldest out of our gang. In addition, when I had enough money, I used to frequent the local pub at fifteen, the Bricklayers Arms in Upper Gornal.
I remember the first time I went to church. It was Christmas Eve, and we had drunk quite a lot of alcohol, spirits were high. There were several of us that night, drinking, having a laugh and larking around. My mate suggested we get warm in the church that was open, St Peters Church in Upper Gornal. We went in not aiming to cause It was around this time that I had my first experience with trouble, but when you're under the influence of alcohol your perceptions and actions change.
We were asked by the welcome team on the door to keep quiet and orderly, but the more we tried to keep orderly the louder we became. Finally, my mate was physically sick, and we were escorted off the church grounds very quickly. It made the local papers; it was like a trophy in some bizarre way. 'Youths disrupt local midnight mass.' We were stars, we had made the local paper. What a laugh. Had we been youths in today's society we would have received an ASBO and would have gloated about that in a similar way as some youngsters of today.
Looking back at this event with new eyes as a born again Christian, this is one of the most regrettable actions I have ever taken in my life. The simple fact is that no-one had ever gone to church in my family; I had never read the Bible or associated with any Christian. On the contrary, Christians were viewed as wimps, and train spotters in our family, weak people, judgemental and sanctimonious. They pontificated and sounded off about the Bible in words only but would live a totally different life to the teachings of Christ from Monday to Saturday.
Many people have interpreted that Jesus was timid, weak and frail. The world's impression of Jesus is an unbelievably nice person, rather an effeminate man in our macho society, who was totally unrealistic about the world and unable to cope with its array of complexities and problems.
This misrepresentation the world paints is so far from the truth it is astonishing, but who paints the picture and, more to the point, who challenges society's views and attitudes?
Chapter 4: 'Are You Real, God?'
Lin and I got married by the time I was age 20. We became parents. We faced many challenges and trials, but we somehow managed to keep the marriage together.
Some wonderful born again Christians that I was associated with began to confront me as to whether I had ever had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I had not, and they kept suggesting and making comments that Jesus always answered genuine prayer, and if you ask God to reveal himself he would. I obviously thought he would manifest himself and I would be able to see him eye to eye.
I can honestly say that I genuinely, for the first time in my life, asked God to make himself known to me in a real and practical way. He knew my heart and that no man would have convinced me. It had to be God or no-one.
I prayed a simple prayer in my car whilst driving to work and said something like this. 'If you are real God and I can see you with my own eyes, and experience the unconditional love that people say they receive then I will follow you all the days of my life.'
God answered my prayer, but not right away. There were many things that evidently first had to happen.
Chapter 5: The Spiritualist Church
Where I worked, one of the members of staff at the day center approached me one day and said she had had a message from the spirit realm for a man named John. As I was the only John she knew, therefore, she passed the message on. I recall it was a little vague in its meaning, leaving many opened ended questions and unreciprocated thoughts. I recall brushing it off in my usual indifferent approach to all spiritual matters.
Nonetheless, I did believe there was a spiritual realm and that people could make contact with spiritual beings. In short, the answer was, 'Yes, I believe but don't involve me'. Indeed, for the greater part of my life, I had seen or experienced these apparitions in one form or another. I did not fear them; why should I, I surmised? They had been there for the best part of my life; they did not bother me, so I didn't feel threatened by them.
In addition, I had this uncanny ability to tell a charlatan a mile away. I only had to be in their presence for a few seconds and I could tell. When you are sensitive to the spirit realm as I was, you have the ability to pick up feelings and environmental changes. There was always an inner sensation that took place deep within my body, mind and soul. I would hear words or see pictures appear in my mind's eye, feelings and emotions were heightened beyond my normal level and instantaneously I had knowledge of past events in their life, for instance.
I recall many times the staff at the day center spoke of what had taken place at the meeting and what messages they had received. They knew I had some ability and kept getting these messages from the spirit realm for me to attend their meetings. Week after week, I kept turning down their invitation to attend one of these meetings.
Finally, out of sheer frustration, I said I would go with them. Firstly, to shut them up and secondly to stop these so-called mediums sending messages to my workplace via my staff members. I was going to prove these were charlatans.
As I drove to that spiritualist church that night, I prayed to God, which was totally out of character for me, asking Him to watch over me and protect me. Oddly enough, I knew deep down it was wrong to go but I had a strange compulsion to attend. It was as if I had started on a journey and needed to learn some lessons along the way. I was at a crossroads in my life spiritually. I was sitting on a spiritual wall of mediocrity, neither one thing nor the other.
I found the little church in the back streets of Darlaston in Walsall. It was a little run down and nothing spectacular from the outside, albeit it looked like a church.
I parked my car round the back of the church, feeling a little apprehensive, and walked around the front of the building. I was on my own and went through the vestibule to enter the main church.
At the door was Sarah, a senior member of the church, shaking hands and welcoming all attendees. She smiled and put her hand out to shake mine, which I reciprocated. I took her hand. As soon as our hand came together 'WOW!' We both jumped, it was as if electricity had passed from my body into hers, she felt it and I felt it. I think this experience shook her and she was somewhat overwhelmed, a new sensation for her. It was as if some spiritual power or reservoir had been drained from my body and I was open, if that makes sense. I have asked the Holy Spirit in Jesus' name to help me write this account in details that the reader can understand. The picture I received was like a fish on a fishmonger's tray after being prepared and filleted. I was spiritually open to receive both good and bad. Much later in my journey I would have to make a choice that would ultimately affect my eternal destiny.
I joined my work friends at the front of the church, oddly enough this time on the front row. I sat there while several hymns were sung and several prayers were offered. Then a medium came onto the platform. She began giving messages out to the audience, very vague to start with and generally non-specific. I looked at her to gain eye-to-eye contact but she would not look at me. By this time, my five colleagues noticed this and commented how odd it was.
The messages became more credible and plausible as time went by, giving names and recalling deathbed experiences of so-called loved ones. She still would not look me in the eye or give her attention in my direction. By this time she had made eye contact with every member of that congregation except for me.
She concluded the session and left the platform and we sang another song. I said to my colleague that I was going home and wished them well. I recall saying this was not really my cup of tea and I did not do religious things like this. I had made my mind up that this path was not for me.
I am a little reluctant to use real names of staff that were present so I will change some names to protect their identity. As I was leaving, Mary went over to Sarah, the woman I had met on the door earlier.
I was walking down the aisle when she stood directly in my path. Mary was behind her. I had no alternative but to stop, she tried to engage in some conversation as if some strange force was working through her and trying to persuade me to stop, but my mind was made up, I was going home and that was it. I had made a decision, no more spiritualist churches for me, once was enough. Indeed, I had made my mind up and that was it, nothing was going to change my stubborn mind now. I went to side step her and all of a sudden, this spiritual male presence left her body and went through my stomach area and out of the top of my head.
I saw its physical transparent features come directly out of her body, as if it had free will to be there. It clearly took on the features of a male figure as tall as me and far more stocky in build. It was a powerful and intimidating presence. It wore what looked like the habit of a monk, albeit it was a grayish white robe.
The force that hit my stomach made me double up as I went to the floor, knees bent and doubled up. I felt winded and physically sick because this presence had violated me. I caught my breath and stood up, I looked at Sarah and she looked back, again we had both felt this presence and force. She was now in full swing telling me I was a natural medium and I should be working the platform as a medium.
I know this presence was familiar to Sarah and that she had allowed it to enter her body freely many times over. In spiritualist terms, they call these spirits guides. Indwelling spirits do have greater control when working from inside a person.
I am out running my narrative a little, but I feel it is important to understand what took place when this spirit passed through my body.
Firstly, I need to establish a couple of Biblical premises that all demons and spirit guides are liars and deceivers and follow Satan, the father of lies. Secondly, they have no legal claim to a physical body, they are trespassers.
Spiritual trespassers will continue to claim occupancy of a human body until they are legally challenged. This can only be through the authority of Jesus Christ and no other way. Acts 4:12: 'Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.' Demon spirits know how to and do enter by force if that have to, albeit they would prefer to indwell in human bodies by invitation. Satan does use a mixture of truth and error to deceive the human race, indeed spirit guides are just one means of deception. This is one of Satan's greatest stratagems, to offer insight and knowledge.
Besides, we see evidence of Satan's counterfeit and false religions on our very doorstep. Indeed we live in a world that has an insatiable appetite for knowledge about the unknown. Millions are turning to astrology, horoscopes, mediums, psychics and the occult for a word about their future. Indeed, they accept the doctrines of demons as truth.
I would like to suggest, from personal first hand experience, it is one of a demon's main objectives to enter and indwell any willing or naive human body. Insomuch as they can obtain a greater advantage in dominating that person, far more than when they are working from outside.
Besides, we see evidence of Satan's counterfeit and false religions on our very doorstep. Indeed we live in a world that has an insatiable appetite for knowledge about the unknown. Millions are turning to astrology, horoscopes, mediums, psychics and the occult for a word about their future. Indeed, they accept the doctrines of demons as truth.
I would like to suggest, from personal first hand experience, it is one of a demon's main objectives to enter and indwell any willing or naive human body. Insomuch as they can obtain a greater advantage in dominating that person, far more than when they are working from outside.
One evening shortly after this event, in a dream like sleep, I saw the face of a man I had never met before and just left it at that, a very odd but life like dream. I decided to go to the church again, if only to find the underlying cause of what had happened. I went again and lo and behold, the man I had seen in this dream-like vision was on the platform giving out messages. His name was Mac. I knew instantaneously in my mind that he was a genuine medium. After he had finished he made his way towards me, partly because I was a new member and partly because he felt a strange connection with me. He told me straight way that I had the gift of clairvoyance and had the ability to be a medium.
He explained things about the spirit realm that seemed to fit my life experiences to that point in time. I knew he had the gift of medium ship. Mac was a genuinely nice guy, and I wholeheartedly accepted as true everything he was saying.
Mac taught me some breathing techniques that had been passed down to him. He swore me to secrecy not to share this technique with anyone. I used this technique and quickly entered into another state of awareness. Mac told me that if I started to come regularly, he would show me more. I was hooked.
Chapter 6: Sitting In Circles
I started attending this small spiritualist church on a regular basis. My first impressions were that they all seemed genuinely nice people. These people appeared to have a compassion for the hurting people of our community. Some mediums were spiritual healers and ran sessions free of charge; some would go to the hospitals and lay hands on the sick and use their gifts or calling in that direction.
By the same token, there also appeared a variety of reasons why people attended. These varied from curiosity about the spirit realm, invitations from a friend and sadness for the loss of a departed friend or family member to people wanting spiritual healing. Additionally, there were people like me who had had some sort of spiritual encounter. A real cross section of society.
One phenomenon that stuck out like a sore thumb as I recall, was that many accomplished mediums of longstanding had some form of physical aliment or disability that caused pain and discomfort in their everyday lives.
These took the form of arthritic knees, hips or spines. One could argue from a demographic perspective that a considerable number of people in this deprived area of Walsall had similar aliments and most had never been involved in the occult, and I would agree. Oddly enough, when they got onto the platform to deliver their messages from the spirit world they were totally free from any physical ailments or pain. It was as if they had a new lease of life. They could walk without their sticks or walking aids. They maneuvered around the platform like accomplished ballerinas.
Luke 13: 10-13: 'On the Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he said, 'Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.' Then he put his hands on her and immediately she straightened up and praised God.'
When I asked several of the mediums for the explanation and reason for this remarkable transformation in their physical health, they put it down to their spiritual guides working in them and through them. They explained that they felt in their own bodies the spiritual guides bringing people from the spirit realm more closely. This would facilitate a greater clarity of message, as well as demonstrating to the watching crowd in the congregation that this was a genuine spiritual encounter with their loved ones.
I have been deceived many times myself in the course of my own mediumship by the greatest deceiver the world has ever known, Satan, the father of lies. He used a mixture of strategies to deceive me. I have no hesitation in suggesting to the reader that this was another deception.
I would like to put forward to the reader that it is through our unique individual experiences and our conclusions about these occurrences that we draw upon our own interpretations. Insomuch as we allow Satan to builds his strongholds in our lives. These experiences are what we call reality, and are based on our limited and somewhat misled thoughts and opinions. Satan had certainly used these mediums to speak his message to the world, a world, which I eagerly wanted to join.
I had no real knowledge of Satan or demonic spirits and accepted the reality and teachings of the mediums. As I said earlier, they appeared to be nice people, albeit there was a certain hierarchy and inflated over-ego amongst mediums. One up-man-ship was the name of the game and I wanted to be the best of the best.
I approached mediumship in the same cavalier attitude that I approached all other forms of learning; I wanted to be the best of the best. I was so eager to glean the slightest bit of knowledge that would progress me further. I started reading books on the subject and found an array of books detailing how to develop your gifting. I was reading two to three books each week. I would buy books, borrow books from the library and borrow others from mediums and from the church library. I would hang around the mediums watching their styles and trying to find someone I could emulate. Mac was supportive, but I knew he could only take me so far. I needed another mentor, more knowledgeable. I had developed at such a fast pace, indeed I had learned techniques many people had been trying to achieve during years of sitting in development circles.
It was as if I had been placed on a fast track to learning by some higher order of spiritual beings. I was developing meditation techniques and discovered that I could practice out of body experiences. I wasn't alarmed at these episodes as I had had previous ones as a child.
I recall during one of these sessions going to a spiritual dimension I had never been to before. I was fully conscious and aware of my surroundings. Before me was a great crystal mountain, indeed it appeared to surround me on all sides, it was as if I had been encapsulated by this enormous sight. The crystal appeared to be tinted with blue.
There was a strangeness to this place when I look back, an eeriness surrounded me but I was never able to put my finger on it. It was as if my mind had been closed to the whole truth. When I spoke about this experience, I was told it was a place of spiritual healing on a higher plane than earth. I was told that crystals are for healing and getting a certain balance to one's life. I was told that I had needed to go there before I progressed further. I was told that it was a special place that not many people go or are ever taken to. My ego was getting bigger by the minute and my pride was swelling. I liked this, I liked being special and gifted.
I was now quite accomplished with meditation and becoming very cocky and confident. I was mediating one day when I saw an angel of light coming towards me. I was transfixed by this splendid angelic presence; it's garments were fluttering as it approached me. It appeared to have beams of light passing from it's body, it's majestic splendid just held me there. It was as if I was a rabbit caught in the head lights of a car. Then I felt this hard knock on my forehead and I knew I had received a mark on my head, invisible to the naked eye.
Again, when I shared this with the leaders they reassured me this was a mark that protected me when I was separated from my physical body. It was a symbol to give me right of passage onto higher planes.
For those people who have never read the Bible before, two scriptures revealed the truth about these events to me, many months later when I became a Christian.
2 Corinthians 11:14,15: 'And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness.'
Revelation 13: 16: 'He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead.'
I was well on track and the fruits of my labor were showing in many ways. I certainly was becoming more arrogant and self-centered daily. I was still attending and sitting in a development circle. A couple had also joined our small group some weeks after it started. I recall asking them about Jesus one day, as I knew they had been spiritualists for many years. I put it to them that Jesus was a great healer according to one of the books I had studied. His retort shocked me slightly; he was very disparaging of Jesus and said he was just an old Jew. A very derogatory comment I thought and one without merit. Again, I was troubled by this lack of respect but I didn't understand why.
Jesus said, 'Many false prophets will appear and deceive many people' (Matt. 24:11). Paul wrote, 'For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear' (2 Tim. 4:3).
As I look around me at this troubled and lost world, I can clearly see that Satan's only desires to show man the 'glory' of sin and not the sewer.
I will try to illustrate this last remark. Take the alcoholic drink business for example. Their advertising and marketing strategy show people who are having a first-class time, smiling, and enjoying life. The commercials don't show the man who is clinging to the toilet being sick or beating his wife and kids. The alcoholic, spending all of his wages while his family have nothing to eat. The true side of sin is always ignored by Satan. It is for this reason that if people only saw the true consequences of sin instead of the immediate pleasures, it is my belief they would never chose that path.
Like many people, I had fallen for Satan's lies, counterfeit spirituality, and all the benefits it allegedly had in store. It's promises were for a life of enlightenment and self-discovery but in reality, it led only to a path of pain, hurt and lies.
It was around this time that I allowed the three spirit guides to use my body. I had become accustomed to seeing, hearing and sharing this mediumship gift I had developed. So the next step seemed so natural to willingly allow these spirits to use my body for mediumship.
One may ask how a Demon enters a human body. The answer is simple, through sin and darkness in ones life. I had entered into a realm of darkness and deception. I had opened a spiritual door that allowed free access to all darkness in my life. I had willingly allowed these demons free right of passage.
I had started to notice my voice change when the demons spoke through me. The voice took on the so called characteristics of the dead person who I interacted with. Not long after I noticed my physical features change and also take on the appearance of who was coming through from the spirit realm. I never really questioned this development in my so called medium ship.
Chapter 7: The Choice
Psalm 104:3: 'He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the winds.'
I fervently believe one of the greatest gifts God gave man was the gift of freewill and choice; furthermore, it is my belief God allows every individual to use this precious gift as they see fit, even at the cost of hurting oneself and God in the process. God is the perfect gentleman, figuratively speaking, and He will not force Himself on anyone to love Him or follow Him. I have contemplated many a time that God must watch His children and weep as He sees them on that path of self-destruction, only waiting for the invention to take His rightful place as a loving, caring and compassionate father. A father who so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
The Bible says that God is omnipotent and omnipresent, all-powerful and all knowing and I truly believe God knows our individual hearts, minds and character. He sees behind the mask that we wear and sees the real persons we could become. God does not have a universal production line that assembles human beings for dispatch into this world. Nor was that ever His will or intention for humanity. I would like to suggest that God created each of us as unique individuals, handmade, unique and precious in His sight. When God created us, He gave us all individual skills, abilities and talents. The Bible tells me God doesn't have any favorites, but He does use some of His children for different and specific purposes.
I was at home alone; I recall it was a typical late summer's day, not long after the twin towers incident in New York. There was not a cloud in the sky and the temperature was comfortable for the time of year. It was late summer 2001 and I was meditating in my normal way. Without warning, I suddenly had an uncontrolled out of body experience; this was different in many ways from my customary meditation session. I was on this earth plan but in a spiritual dimension, which was new to me. I was still in my house but looking into a spiritual world. A world I was very unaccustomed too or ever expected to see. It was a bit like Christopher Columbus when he discovered America, staring into a new world with unfamiliar sights and sounds.
My physical heart was racing and I knew I was still connected to my body, albeit I was absent from my body.
God had allowed me to see behind the physical limitations of my natural eyes. I was seeing the world through spiritual eyes and this was a new experience. I had never seen both sides of the coin before, nor experienced the consequences of my actions. Rather, I believe I was shown a foretaste of the ramifications of my sin and my disobedience towards God.
This time I wasn't just seeing what Satan had engineered and counterfeited, I was seeing the censored bits, warts and all. Indeed I was aware of the parts of my life that had been masked previously, the bits that revealed the true spiritual climate I was living in. These areas of my life were now exposed and bare and I had some understanding of sin for the first time in my life.
God would not let me be deceived, or give the wrong impression about anything. I was fully conscious and aware of what was at stake. I had to make a choice; there was no more sitting on the fence.
I was fully conscious and fully aware of all my senses, indeed they appeared heightened in some strange way. I looked up into the sky, there was a beautiful cloud, and I knew instantaneously that the God who created this universe was behind that cloud. I knew I was in the presence of God Almighty.
I looked down as if looking through the floor and saw below many hundreds of meters away the devil. Satan was not in Hell, nor did I see any resemblance that he was. He was operating in this spiritual dimension and had free movement. He was not chained or locked up.
The Bible tells us this is the second heaven where the devil and his rebel angels live. Good angels also operate in the second heaven alongside the devil and his angels. The bible does say there is a time coming when the devil will be sent to Gehenna, the lake of fire, the final destination for all wicked angels and humans. It is also another name for Hell. However, let the reader take note, Satan is real and he is on the warpath, aiming to deceive the world.
I automatically knew it was Satan. I have no real comprehension why I knew both God and the devil, but I would state categorically that everything in my soul, mind and body told me I was in the presence of good and evil. There was no mistake; no turning back. The mask was off. I was to be offered a choice.
The devil took me instantaneously to the East and to the West. I was spiritually taken by the devil and shown the pyramids in Egypt. The natural laws that govern this world did not apply to the spirit realm or to the second heaven that I was in. Then again, in a moment I was in New York. The devil offered me all the trappings of this world. Celebrity status, five star hotels, and holidays to far off countries. Everything my human body desired would be made available.
The devil offered me fame beyond my wildest dreams, which certainly played up to my ego. I would become an international clairvoyant and earn considerable amounts of money in the process.
We read that Jesus was also tempted by the devil in Luke's gospel.
Luke 4 5: 'The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, I will give you all their authority and splendor, for it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. So if you worship me, it will be yours.'
The only condition was that I would be selling my soul to the devil and I knew it. My spirit cried out no. I would not follow the devil or be part of his plans in any way, shape or form.
He went ballistic, he was so annoyed and angry he turned glowing red in color as if flames of fire were coming from every orifice. In front of my very eyes, he changed into this unrecognizable creature of pure evil and hatred. Hatred just emanated from every part of his body, as I stood there transfixed by this presence. A presence of unadulterated evil and wickedness, he had a hatred for humanity, which words cannot justify or express. Fear penetrated every part of my body, mind and soul. With this heightened awareness, I felt Satan's grip on my life had somewhat been shaken and he had been knocked back by my response.
I was stuck in this strange spiritual world, a world I didn't know how to escape from, moreover I was up against a fallen archangel bent on my destruction.
Then, all of a sudden, out of this cloud I heard the words, 'HE SAID 'NO!'' and instantaneously I was back in my physical body. I was shocked at the experience and knew I would never go back to spiritualism again.
Chapter 8: The Battle
I had returned to this conscious physical body. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks and, for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do or where to go. I knew to some extent that I had opened a door into the occult world and allowed my body to be used by demonic spirits.
Nevertheless, this door remained open and I felt powerless to close it. It was similar to giving the average Joe Bloggs in the street the keys to an air force fighter plane and asking him to fly it to Scotland. I didn't have a clue how to close this spiritual door, I knew how to open it but had never asked the question how to I close it. I had been deceived and felt lonely and very vulnerable. I was aware of the powers of evil as I could still feel them around my physical body and my mind was constantly receiving fearful thoughts and images. I was open to the powers of darkness and my mind was so confused.
It was like being lost in a swirling fog of half darkness. My mind was like a nomadic tribesman, wandering around from place to place but finding no rest. Day and night, I was continually trying to make sense of what had taken place, but became overpowered by a kind of tedium. I felt desperately lost and on my own with no-one to turn to. I was bewildered and terrified in many ways. I was completely losing my grip on reality. I felt soiled, guilty, and humiliated by what had taken place. It was so unlike how I used to be that I didn't even know who I was any more, everything that I had relied on was false. These guides were just evil demonic spirits out to rob, steal and destroy at all costs.
I took some leave from work as I was in no fit state to manage myself let alone other people. I went to a local church, St Mary's, which is just down the road from where I live. For some strange reason I knew I had to be on holy ground. The thoughts of all those prayers bought me some comfort to my troubled mind. I sat in the church trying to come to terms with what had taken place in my life and particularly the encounter with the devil. I couldn't still find any real answers to all the questions that were swirling round my mind and was somewhat perplexed by this ordeal.
I knew I still had these indwelling spirit guides in my body and they would not relinquish their grip on me. Up to that point, I told them when they could use my body and they obeyed, that also turned out to be a deception of the enemy of our souls, Satan. They had taken squatter's rights and were trespassing, but they would not budge. Demonic spirits have real personalities and are able to think, act and speak. They manifest their nature and character through human beings and follow Satan. Scripture clearly indicates that there is a Kingdom of darkness and it becomes evident that the majority of Satan's power and work is centered around deception. Deception is the greatest power he has at his disposal. Deception was his first line of attack in the Garden of Eden and it will be his last weapon to deceive the nations.
Numerous people reading this account will draw their own inferences and opinions. Indeed, in our modern sophisticated and well-educated society, some people may argue that I had a severe hormone imbalance or that this behavior was a result of my traumatic childhood or the physical assault I had suffered a few years earlier. However, that is clearly not what the Bible says. The Bible says it was the work of demon spirits, pure and simple. Demons are spiritual enemies and scripture employs the analogy of wrestling in reference to our warfare with Satan and his hosts. Wrestling requires close quarter fighting, personally grappling with powers of darkness. The battle is usually very personal and close.
Day after day, I went to St Mary's Church. This little oasis, this paradise in my barren desert was my only respite to a certain extent. I had the opportunity to speak to the female vicar, Mother E. Vicars and other professions working with the members of the public have to separate the 'oddballs' from the genuine people. The ability to differentiate between the genuine character and 'oddball' became apparent. Once she had realized I hadn't lost the plot she began to pray for me and my family. She even visited my house to bless it and take Holy Communion with the other part time Vicar, Father T.
Things got exceptionally bad one night. I felt these demonic spiritual guides were trying to prevent me from eating food; they were also trying to deprive me of sleep and wear me down. To some extent, they were succeeding. I felt physically sick every time I tried to eat food and unpleasant tastes would fill my mouth. Food didn't taste the same as its usual flavor, or smell as it usually did; it was as if they were being masked in some strange way. Lin, my wife, made me my favorite dish, chili, as she could see I was struggling. Lin never judged me or criticized me in any way, she was fighting for her man the only way she knew how.
As I sat there eating one grain of rice at a time, I felt this presence try to take full control of my body and mind. I fought it with every bit of strength I had. My physical features changed, my face took on different characteristics, the characteristic of this male demonic presence in my body. My voice became deeper and more threatening in tone as this battle commenced. It was a battle of mental powers and I knew that if I relinquished, he would take control and gain more power. My wife witnessed these physical changes in my face and voice.
I had seen this in spiritualism many times previously. When mediums enter into a trance-like state; they seem to get taken over by the spirit force.
I felt trapped and frightened; I had never experience such fear in all my life. It was as if a wall of fear surrounded me. It was beyond my level of endurance but I knew I had to keep going. I was in this invisible battle for my mind. The same spirit of fear that taunts our mind until you become a slave to fear usually comes first as a thought process in our imaginations, until it takes root in our actions. As I said earlier, I am a Gornal man and I do not take well to threats and intimidation. Either you become a victim or you survive.
The next morning I went to the church and sat quietly on my own when, out of sheer desperation, I asked Jesus Christ to help me. I don't know why I hadn't asked Jesus for His help before, maybe it was pride or maybe it was because no one had ever told me about Jesus. I knew deep down He was speaking to me and had tried to speak on numerous occasions in my life but I was too proud and arrogant to listen. I knelt down and, in a state of total honesty, asked Jesus to help me. I said I was sorry for walking this path and I needed His help. Believe me, I was sincere.
Evil spirits are creatures of darkness they cannot bear to be brought into the light. Deliverance, as I was to learn, is a process and I was soon to see three of these spirits manifest themselves in the church. As I prayed I knew something had taken place with one of these spirits, it was as if it had been cast out my body. Unbeknown to me, my car alarm had gone off at the same time, lights were flashing in my house and my wife knew something had happened.
The next night at about three o'clock in the morning, I felt the other spirit was cast out of my body. Again, car alarms went off up the street, lights flashed and unpleasant odors occurred. The last demon was cast out the following night. He was the leader and much more powerful than the other two. I have seen him when he manifested himself: very powerfully built, he was the embodiment of evil personified. I felt my physical body lift off the bed in an arch shape as this presence left my body, removed by some more powerful force.
I was very weak and exhausted by this ordeal and slept heavily. I woke up still physically and mentally drained from the last four or five days albeit I did, for some strange reason, feel a little calmer than I had felt in many days. I was trying to talk to God and get some understanding of what had taken place when I felt this presence fill the room, very reassuring, very calming and a peace came upon me that I knew was from God, albeit I still didn't comprehend it was the Holy Spirit. I knew a spiritual door had been opened, and that my body had been used as a temple to Satan and needed closing. Looking back, I was still very vulnerable and additionally I didn't have any real comprehension of what was taking place, but I thank God He closed this door, this point of access.
Revelation 3:7: 'These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no- one can shut, and what he shuts no-one can open.'
I felt my spirit being drawn back into my body and oddly enough, I didn't panic nor was I alarmed by this process. I felt so secure and safe whilst I was surrounded by this wonderful presence that filled the room. I knew beyond any level of doubt that this presence was there to help me, albeit I still had no comprehension it was Jesus.
I felt something seal me like a hot knife, it wasn't painful or distressing in any way. Again, I knew I had been sealed with some kind of spiritual mark. It was a seal, a symbol of protection, a symbol that declares, 'this one is Mine, hands off, I am coming back to claim it.'
The Lord Jesus does not seal anything that He doesn't intend to redeem. This seal will not be removed until His final work has been completed. Paul said that we who have the first fruits of the spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.
The following scriptures bear testimony that we are sealed by God for the day of redemption.
Ephesians 4:30: 'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.'
2 Corinthians 1:22: 'He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us and put his spirit in our hearts as a deposit guaranteeing what is to come.'
The door was now closed, and these demonic trespassers were evicted good and proper by the Holy Spirit. Nevertheless, they still had the power to oppress me and I felt the demonic spirits all over the outside of my body. They were trying to claw their way back into my body.
Several weeks had gone by and I had now started going to church regularly. Each Sunday morning and Friday night, I went religiously. I bought a Bible and started reading it. Again, I approached church a bit like I had approached everything in my life to that point. To be perfectly honest, I did not fully understand what was going on. For all intents and purposes I was walking the path of religion, I was becoming a biblical Pharisee.
Holy Communion was an integral part of the service but, because I hadn't been confirmed, I couldn't take part in this activity. I did ask the male vicar one night for Holy Communion and he agreed as a one off.
I took Holy Communion and felt this warming sensation through my body. These demonic spirits had spiritually torn me to shreds when they had been cast out of my body. As the symbolic blood of Jesus entered my body, I felt these wounds sealing themselves. God for some strange reason allowed one leg to remain numb from my hip to my knee. Several years later, it is still numb albeit I have no other side effects.
In the old covenant, God instructed His people to offer sacrifices. These slain animals symbolically bore the punishment for sin that the people deserved. Nonetheless, these sacrifices could not cover every sin and had to be repeated. The old covenant was a mere shadow.
The new covenant brought the reality. Jesus Christ died once for all. He was the atoning for our sins, bringing us back into fellowship with God. Without the blood of Christ and God's grace, it would be impossible for us to have victory over sin.
Spiritual battles take energy and in my naive state of mind I was still fighting with all my physical strength. Spiritual battles cannot be fought in natural strength and I was realizing this very quickly.
Every night without fail these spirits were climbing all over my body and would wake me up. I had terrifying dreams most nights and I would wake up in a cold sweat. In the shower in the morning, I would notice marks all over my body: scratch marks, sometimes bite marks and other times just pain from aching limbs. In the early days, I would literally cough up blood. I felt physically and mentally exhausted and knew it could not continue much longer as the effects of these battles were telling on me physically, emotionally and psychologically.
One day I was speaking to a woman who sang in the church. She suggested I read a book called, 'Praying the Jesus prayer'. A prayer that was over two thousand years old. It goes like this.
Lord Jesus Christ,
Son of God,
Have mercy on me,
A sinner.
I read the book and this was the first time I had won a battle. Each time I was attacked I just kept praying this prayer. I said it for three hours constantly one night and it worked. Fantastic.
I still cannot believe that within a week of reading this book, God had opened a door for me to visit this order. A Franciscan monk at Glass Hampton Monastery had written the book but sadly, he had died before I had a chance to thank him. Nevertheless, I would be going there to spend a day with them. B, the woman who I loaned me the book, was a friend of the monks and supported the work of the Franciscan monks.
One other woman accompanied us on that day. E was also a member of St Mary's Church and a very fine woman indeed. The weather was still mild for late September 2001 and as we drove down to Worcester through the country lanes, I recall we made good time. The drive was pleasant enough albeit I was eager to see these saintly men of God. We turned off the road and up a long dirt track. From the road, you could not see the monastery as it was some distance up the dirt drive. When we got there, one of the brothers welcomed us. I recall that we were shown to the visitor section. It was some time later that I spoke with Brother Raymond. I recall he was a little taken back by my story but gave me some words I will never forget. In essence, he assured me that God never made mistakes and that my journey to faith was all in God's plan.
We had lunch in silence that day, as was the custom for the monks. I had plenty of time to walk around the gardens and watch the wildlife. It was a day I will treasure. Indeed, it kept me from going mad.
Chapter 9: The River Of Life Stepping Stones
There were two stone-cutters chipping away in a quarry. Asked what they were doing, one said, 'I'm cutting a stone'. The other said, 'I'm building a cathedral'. Are you cutting a stone or are you helping Jesus build a cathedral?
I had started a new spiritual pilgrimage and was walking unfamiliar territory without a guide. As customary with most journeys up to that point, I was finding it difficult to navigate my way around the Christian religion. I was so tired and physically and emotionally drained that I kept slumbering from using my own strength. I wanted fast solutions and tried to cut corners in many ways.
1 Peter 2:4: 'As you come to him, the living stone rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him, you also like living stones are being built into spiritual houses to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.'
Up to this point in time, I had never considered that life is a journey from birth to death with numerous encounters and obstacles along the way. I had never considered the real value of these obstacles, moreover the fiery trials that each Christian will face. I never considered that one day the Lord could use these experiences to advance His Kingdom.
To illustrate my approach to life up to that point in time and, to some extent, my new religious walk, it could be compared to a fast flowing river that I needed to cross safely. I had blinkered myself so I could not see the dangers that lurked under the waters or the fast current that could sweep me away, all I could think about was the fastest way across the river. I never considered that the only way to cross over to the other side was to step on the stepping-stone in the river, which was there to help me navigate my way across to the other side safely. Each one was strategically placed, just big enough and strong enough to carry my weight. Indeed, I had not grasped the importance of each stone and by jumping stones, I would be missing real lessons in life only to stumble later when I lacked the necessary skills to cope with life's uncertain events.
I knew deep down that I had to keep moving forward along this spiritual path and the price of not moving forward would be continuous immaturity and spiritual stagnation. In addition, I would like to suggest we all know what stagnant water looks and smells like.
Proverbs 25:26: 'Like a muddied spring or a polluted well is a righteous man who gives way to the wicked.'
Satan was still having a go at every opportunity; he was like an injured animal or a cornered rat. He was out on a major campaign to destroy my life and my family's lives at all costs. He certainly didn't want me to move forward, he want me kept in the bondage of my own making.
I didn't understand at the time that God does assure His children that Satan's activities are limited by Him, especially towards His family. Again, scripture clearly demonstrates this assurance in the experience of Job, when Satan attacked his person, household and possessions. Although Satan is mighty, he does not have divine authority and God always has the last word.
What assurance I now find in these words, but sadly at the time no Christian ever told me this biblical truth. In fact, no Christian told me I needed to be born again.
One Thursday afternoon Lin and I went shopping in Sedgley. We had lived in Sedgley for about 18 years by this time and were accepted by the locals as part of the community. Sedgley is a small village about 3 miles from Gornal, still in the heart of the Black Country.
If I had walked this road a 1000 times I wouldn't be lying, but oddly enough I had passed Sedgley Full Gospel Church which was situated on this road countless times, yet had never taken any notice.
We had walked past the church without even a glance. I had gone another 100 meters or so when I felt physically ill, I knew I couldn't carry on so I said to Lin I would go home. Lin had to collect our children from school later that day, so she carried on.
I had just started to walk back home when I had this strange compulsion to cross the road to be on the other side. I was becoming accustomed to these episodes, as I had had one at the Christening all those years ago, when I walked to the front of the church for a blessing. This had also happened when I went to the spiritualist church and asked God to protect me. I had to cross the road, and get level to the church, as the compulsion was so strong.
I looked up and noticed the old rusty metal cross hanging from the front of the building, and read the words on the large hand painted poster about Jesus. As I read the words on the poster in my mind, they suddenly became alive in my heart. I read them again. It was as if the penny had suddenly dropped. I read the poster again and it made complete sense. It was first time in my life that I knew Jesus was alive.
Then I had an experience that would change my life forever and my understanding of Jesus Christ. I saw and felt the risen Christ standing before me. The Son of God was meeting me at my point of need. All those years ago suddenly came flooding back in my mind. It was as if I had been allowed to re-live that moment in time again.
I recall with great clarity the episode in time when I had challenged God to show himself on my journey to work. I saw the flash back of me driving my car and crying out in a loud voice, 'God if you are real show Yourself. Unless I see you with my eyes I won't believe You exist.'
This had happened one day before I was assaulted, and I believe this was the start of my journey all those years ago. Yes, God heard my prayer in the car that day and answered in the only way that would reach me. It took several years and many obstacles for God to finally break down my pride and arrogance and answer my prayer in the only way He knew I would respond.
There was no question in my mind that He was the Savior. He had a glow about Him and there was tranquillity about His presence that was so reassuring.
I knew that the Son of God had walked with me every step of my journey. The tremendous pain I had experienced, I knew he felt equally in His spirit. The tears I had cried, I knew He had cried with me and for me. I felt ashamed that I had caused Him to feel my pain and sorrow. His response was to take the pain away, replacing it with unconditional love. He never judged me; in fact it was I who judged me, only to receive forgiveness in abundance from Jesus.
I knew He was aware of all my sins and faults down to the last minute detail, but unconditionally He forgave them all. It was impossible to deny or reject the truth about His deity, His divine attributes shone through. His absolute holiness surrounded Him, His perfect righteousness gave me complete assurance that I was standing in the presence of the sovereign Lord of heaven and earth. He was fully man and yet fully God. He was a distinct person, co-equal with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit.
I was made deeply aware within my spirit, and simultaneously knew deep within His Spirit, that I was one of His lost sheep who had strayed away and He had found me. I would go as far as saying I was never lost in Jesus' eyes as He was always in the shadows just waiting for me to call for help. He left the 99 safe on the hillside and came after me. He defended me from those ravenous wolves and the perilous pitfalls along the way.
In the words of the apostle Paul in Romans 8:28: 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.'
I thank God daily for my experiences and would not change one minute. That experience gave me the assurance that I was on the winning side.
It was that night that Pastor Dave Hyde was preaching at the Gospel Church in Sedgley, the church he had set up 25 years previously with another Christian, but more about that later.
Pastor Dave Hyde spoke about Jesus that night in a sermon he had prepared some week earlier. There is no way he could have known I was going to be there and his message was so relevant.
I would like to suggest that God used Pastor Dave Hyde in the same manner God used Ananias to minister to Saul in Damascus. It was about five minutes into his message when I felt as if water was washing me clean. I knew from that moment I would be a follower of Jesus.
I have asked God on many occasions why He allowed me to go off the track and experience these fiery trials. And God answered my prayer in many ways but revealed the truth through His word in the Bible. It is through these fiery trials that the dross in our lives is purged. The stronger the blade of steel that God wants you to be, the greater the fiery furnace you will have to go through.
He will have to temper you and shape you for that destiny. And along the way He will let you suffer persecution, misrepresentation and disapproval. That's the tempering process of God.
Since God has a ministry for every person, everyone has to suffer self-denial in different measures, some greater than the other. There is no partaking of His resurrection power without partaking of the fellowship of His suffering.
However, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you are able to endure. Additionally, He will not let you know what you are not able to understand. It is like a jigsaw puzzle, one piece at a time. He just gives us one piece at a time. No suffering is permanent. All suffering is temporary. God is not like the devil that would like to torment you day and night. God has time for refreshing for you. So all sufferings, all persecutions will end.
We are bit like frontier people, not dissimilar to the people in the mid west in America in the 1800's exploring new lands, a bit like the old wagon trains on the Oregon trail heading out to new frontiers. I would like to suggest that when you give your life to the Lord, you enter a spiritual wagon train and start moving to a new frontier.
A new frontier between heaven and earth, I would like to suggest, is God's plan so that by prayer and spirit-inspired action we should extend that frontier to encompass all God has planned for our community, our nation and our world.
However, Satan does not like that idea. Not surprisingly, he tries to convince us that the job is too hard. I would like to suggest this is not the time to take things easy. The battle rages about us. We are part of the great invasion force of the King of Kings.
Chapter 10: My Baptism
If you expect me to say that from now my life was a bed of roses and we all lived happily ever after, then think again. In fact I would suggest in many ways my life became much more complicated and difficult.
There are two things you can count on as you walk with God; trouble that works for you which ultimately will build you up, and God's grace to stand while you're going through it. As a seed struggles to break through the ground it's sown in, so we develop in many ways, as we grow in the soil of adversity.
I knew God was calling me to Sedgley Church, that was transparently clear from the start. So I made that my spiritual abode. Pastor Mike was a very experienced Christian and very dedicated to preaching and teaching the word of God. Mike had an encyclopedic knowledge of the Bible and always seemed to come up with the right scripture at the right time.
After about six months of going to church regularly, Mike suggested baptism and explained the significance of this. After reading all the appropriate scriptures and confirming the truth behind Mike's request, I agreed that this was the next step on my journey. From the moment of making that conscious decision to be baptized, I started to get hassle.Spiritually I was still being attacked daily and couldn't grasp why. I still had this ability to sense and experience demonic beings around me and other people, particularly buildings or areas of satanic activity where Satan had his strongholds. I would see them manifest themselves and try to oppress me in many ways, but most of all it was a battle of minds. I was still troubled by these encounters I had had with the devil and demonic creatures, and desperately sought answers from the word of God.
I prayed to the Lord and asked Him to help me understand in simple terms what had taken place. The Lord showed a scene of my life; He took me back to that mid-week evening at the spiritualist church all those months ago. He showed me the same demonic being jumping through my body. The Lord then showed me the consequences of this act. I saw what appeared to be the same spiritual demonic being skinned like a rabbit from head to toe, lying on the floor doubled up in what looked like pain.
What had actually taken place when this demonic being had trespassed unlawfully and jumped through my body, was that it had had gone through the process of being skinned. He had caused me pain but he had suffered as a consequence himself.
The Holy Spirit showed me that as a Christian I was in a spiritual battle and that demons do suffer and it's all not one sided as Satan wants us to think. Maybe this demonic being did not experience the same level of pain or discomfort as we human beings experience, but they do feel pain and discomfort.
The word of God tells us in Isaiah 57:21: 'There is no peace, says my God for the wicked.'
The Lord also gave me another scripture, this time from 2 Corinthians 12: When I read this for the first time I nearly fell off my chair. I was gob smacked.
Chapter 11: Paul's Vision and His Thorn
'I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. And I know that this man, whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows, was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.'
I was somewhat reassured now I had read this account in the Bible, and it appeared to be my anchor in many ways.
Joanne was a fellow colleague at work and a practicing spiritualist medium. he had undertaken a 3-year healing course and was very proficient in these occult practices. I made a decision to tell her the truth about what she was involved in, and nothing was going to stop me.
Day after day I gave her the word of God from the Bible, and day after day she would challenge my new found faith. I knew everything she knew and challenged her beliefs. She accepted I was an accomplished medium and started to listen to what I was saying about the Bible and Jesus. I started to pray for Joanne daily and asked the Holy Spirit to open up Joanne's mind. Joanne had an encounter with a large spiritual beast one evening which vomited some kind of filth over her. Joanne was visibly shaken about her encounter and explained in great detail what she had seen.
I knew she was not making this up, as I had also seen this beast once before, it appeared so large and hideous in shape, like nothing in this world. It was mammoth and black beyond description. It was evil personified beyond description. Its level of evil was equal to the devil in many ways.
I was privileged to bring Joanne to the Lord that day, moreover I introduced her to Sedgley Church. Joanne was also baptized on the 19th May 2002 and still attends church, albeit now in Walsall, a little closer to home.
It was my baptism day, it was a Sunday morning and I was excited and a little apprehensive. I had asked Lin to come and she agreed. I recall the church was packed as I entered, we had already chosen our Bible readings and songs. I had chosen, 'In Christ alone' which was the first Christian song I heard after my encounter with Jesus, that Thursday night at Sedgley Church.
The whole experience was fantastic in many ways and so liberating. Lin tried to talk me out of doing this, she felt the church was a bit like a cult and they had brainwashed me. Up to that point in time, I hadn't told Lin any of the things I had done spiritually, so she didn't know the full picture. I don't blame her really; she has seen things that would scare the living pants off most Christians. And in her mind this was another one of those. I didn't listen to her as I had made my mind up, and that was final.
I remember feeling nervous when I read out my statement before going into the water for full immersion. I climbed down the steps and made a public declaration, then went under the water. I came up to the surface hearing the song, 'In Christ alone'. It was a fantastic day and I felt alive spiritually as well as physically.
After the service had ended we went home and I went upstairs to change my clothes. I sat on the bed and audibly heard the words, 'You don't really believe in Jesus.' I rebuked this presence and carried on.
Life went on pretty much the same, still being hassled by the devil daily. I was reading the book of Acts in the Bible for the first time, and read Chapter two, the account of Pentecost and how the Holy Spirit came on believers and they started speaking in tongues.
Next morning I couldn't wait to hear what Pastor Price was saying about Revelation. I was driving down the road and I just turned the tape on and said out loud, 'Sorry, Lord, I can't speak to You this morning, I want to listen to the end of the tape.'
God had other ideas; I received the baptism in the Holy Spirit there and then. I couldn't stop speaking in tongues and praising God. The tape was turned off and I worshiped with all my heart. God had His way and Pastor John Price came second.
Interestingly, God called me to that church two years later, and I became a member of the Church at Junction10. I now get to listen to Pastor John regularly.
Chapter 12: Relationships
Marriage is an institution ordained by God. In Mark's gospel we read in chapter 10: 6-9: 'at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.'
Lin is more than a wife to me; she is my soul partner and best friend. My love for Lin grows daily. However, to get some understanding of how influential she was in keeping me on the straight and narrow path, I need to take you back to when we first met. Recapping slightly, I first met Lin when I was 12 years of age at our local youth club. Lin had carefree spirit with a lightness in her soul that just radiated out of her. I was attracted to her from day one, but I can hardly imagine why she would show any interest in me.
To say I had a hoodlum and juvenile spirit was an understatement. I was on a fast track to self-destruction. I smoked, drank alcohol when I could get it and hung round with older guys who had done time in borstal (youth offending prisons). My one mate was planning to rob the local shop using a fishing rod and line through the shop's letter box, casting his line by the cigarette boxes hoping to catch one.
Even then I thought it was a stupid idea and didn't want any part in that. He went on to become an accomplished thief and spent a considerable amount of time in prison.
I used to see Lin now and again and was always pleased when we chatted. Lin had a sparkle in her eyes and an innocence that I had never seen in a person before. She was street wise and was no-one's fool, but had an innocent nature about her. She had an inner strength and an air of confidence that just emanated from her. Lin spoke with pride when she mentioned her family. Lin would usually tell me about family holidays and what shows they had seen. She had a list as long as your arm of all the famous stars she had seen whilst on holiday in Blackpool with her family. I was transfixed by some of her stories and enjoyed listening to her.
Our paths kept crossing over the next few years and we started going out as a couple. We decided to get married on the 10th September 1983. Oddly enough it was the exact same day Sedgley Full Gospel Church was opened for the first time, which was unknown to me at the time.
We also got married in St Peter's Church in Upper Gornal, the same church I had been kicked out from that Christmas Eve night.
Lin turned out to be an accomplished wife and a good provider. She had come from a stable background and had the blue prints of how to build a new life and family environment. Lin taught me things that would stay with me all my life. She taught me to be honest with myself and not to deny my own identity.
She taught me it's alright to make mistakes and use them as a platform to move on from, a learning experience she would often say. Lin had a resilience to her nature and she just kept bouncing back and seeing the positives in any situation. I greatly admired Lin, but I couldn't tell her that at the time. I had built a wall around me so impenetrable that I would not let anyone in that close. I always kept up a barrier, even with Lin, the only person in my life at that time to speak truth into my life.
Our children arrived on the scene, Emma and Claire. Both my children are very precious to me and I love them more than they will ever know. They also taught me the responsibilities of being a parent, which is never an easy task.
Eighteen years later, I was a Christian. A path I would walk alone and without Lin by my side. Up to that point in time we had done everything together, we were strong and could depend on each other. We were equal partners and we would stand together or fall together. We were solid as a rock and nothing could divide us; we were partners. It was at that point in time I had to make a choice.
I was at the point of no return in my Christian faith, it was like queuing up for a ride at the fun fair and climbing on the roller coaster, being strapped in and knowing the journey was about to being, and at some point I knew it would stir up a hornet's nest of emotions and fears. I was on my own, without Lin. Could I deny my own experience or turn back to appease Lin.
When a Christian decides to follow Jesus not everyone will be happy about it. Your faith might be their nightmare. I had made up my mind that I would follow my path and walk alone if that was God's will for me.
Sunday morning used to be a nightmare in our house. Week after week I knew what was coming the minute I opened my eyes in the morning. Lin would all of a sudden change, taking on the characteristics of some old fish wife who would just nag and badger me about going to church. This started to take its toll on me and was completely out of character for Lin.
I still loved Lin very deeply and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wanted her to understand this calling that was on my life, but the more I explained the more resistant she became. We had become poles apart.
I knew I had to make a choice in my own mind: was I going to follow Jesus all the way or was I going to tone down my faith and just be a puppet Christian, letting others pull my strings.
After many hours of soul searching and prayer, I made my mind up. I decided to follow Jesus and walk out of the life time relationship with Lin. I couldn't believe God was taking me down this path at this point in time, but I had to trust Him. It was a bit like Abraham when God told him to sacrifice his only son Isaac on the altar. It was only at the point when he got the knife out of its sheath and in his hand and was clearly going to sacrifice his most loved possession that the angel stopped him.
I had made the decision in my mind and heart to follow Jesus, when I had this overwhelming peace and God spoke to me. He assured me that Lin was safe and now in His care. I had relinquished my ability to bring my wife to the Lord and handed her over to Him.
It was also around this time the Lord revealed she also had been oppressed by spiritual forces. It was one Sunday morning and the same routine started about going to church. On my way out of the door, the Lord opened my eyes to see what the real problem was.
I saw around my wife a black spiritual presence that covered her from head to toe. Its purpose was to oppress my wife and as a direct result her character changed. Its evil manifested itself around her and changed her personality and attitude to some extent. I could now appreciate that it was not entirely my wife but this spiritual cloud of blackness that surrounded her.
The Lord told me to read Ephesians 6:10-12: 'For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.'
Paul used a variety of terms to refer to our spiritual enemies. We should regard them as being on many different levels and of many different ranks, yet they all have one goal: to knock the Christian down from their place of standing.
Collectively, they are all members of spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. They are all part of a spiritual army that is organized and established into ranks - and under the headship of Satan, the devil, who comes against us.
1 Corinthians 15:24 tells us that principalities and powers have an end; one day their purpose will be fulfilled and God will no longer let them work. Therefore, God has a purpose in allowing their work.
From that day the atmosphere changed in our marriage and Lin accepted my calling. She even didn't mind me reading my Bible in the house. There have been ups and downs in our marriage, as with any relationship, but as of 2008 we have been married 25 years. Lin attends church regularly with me, which is such a wonderful blessing from the Lord.
THE LITTLE WOODEN CROSS
I had been a Christian several months by now and fully aware of the spiritual battle that raged all around me. I had been saved at a cost; I was now a soldier in the army of God. In the natural world, before a soldier is given a rifle or shown how to fire a rocket, he goes through basic training. One principle for basic training is to build up the recruit's physical and mental strength and stamina. It is as if the army says, 'Soldier, we are going to give you the best weapons and bulletproof vest money can buy. But first we have to make sure that you are tough enough physically and mentally to cope with the task at hand and that you can use what we have given you to accomplish the mission at hand.'
If the army were to take a scrawny man who can barely stand, and put the best armor on him and give him the best rifle, he will still be a hopeless soldier. He will be easily beaten in any conflict; the armor will feel strange and cumbersome, he will not have the stamina to endure and therefore fail his mission. It is my fervent belief that God gives all believers a full set of equipment, and He sends us out into battle with everything we need at our disposal, but first we have to go through basic training.
Like any Army, Satan also has his specialist, designed to undermine God's sovereignty and power. I found these dark forces of evil were experts at trying to oppose me as a relatively new Christian and not yet fully aware of my position in Christ. Looking back with hindsight, they clearly had a strategy which was to steal any peace and learning I had achieved on my spiritual journey so far. Their sole aim was to snatch away what God through His Holy spirit had sown into my new believer's heart, and reclaim their lost territory.
These dark forces of evil, particularly in my case, knew that if they could pervert and distort the word of God they would hinder the Gospel message. In my case this would mean a less productive spiritual experience and a mere shadow of what I could have achieved. Their second objective was to trouble my mind at all costs, as was the case for many months. The Hebrew word for trouble means to make fearful, afraid, to terrify. It speaks of agitation of mind and that was certainly my case.
Fear is a subjective state of mind and each person will experience different warning signs based on their coping mechanisms or past experiences. These symptoms manifest themselves in physical and emotional ways. I certainly experienced anxiety, sleeplessness, fatigue, sweating, trembling. I felt feelings of isolation, insecurity, desperation and tearfulness.
I had a little wooden cross that fitted into the palm of my hand and I took it everywhere, this was my coping strategy, my spiritual crutch. I would even wear it around my neck on a shoelace when out and about. This little wooden cross was given to me by Mother E, the Anglican vicar who had helped me from St Mary's Church all those months ago. In the middle of the night, when I was troubled and woken up by terrible nightmares and trembling with fear, I would hold onto this cross and it brought me some comfort. This was my crutch and I used it daily.
Most nights I would have conscious mental images in my mind and feel the effects in my physical body. I knew I was the presence of evil and felt a force or pressure around my head similar to a crushing sensation whilst in this dream like state. Notwithstanding, I was awake and fully conscious of the evil that surrounded me. The easiest way to explain these spiritual attacks were, it was as if I was in a movie clip, albeit unlike a movie clip, I experienced all the horror and frenzy first hand. Some so-called experts may articulate it was a form of post traumatic stress disorder. Having experienced post traumatic stress disorder following my assault, I know that it didn't resemble that experience. This was real, not an episode of memory recall, as was the case with post traumatic stress disorder.
I would cry out to Jesus to help me and get me out of this nightmare state of evil, and He did without fail every time. The Apostle Paul clearly tells us in 2nd Corinthians 10: 3-5 that the mind is a major area of conflict.
I recall many of these episodes. It was as if I had to confront all my past demons and overcome them one by one. Sadly I didn't realize that it needed to be in God's strength and grace and not my own, which again came down to pride, not seeking direction and help.
On one occasion, I felt as if my body was floating and a very light sensation went through my body. I suddenly felt an awareness of fear rise in my body, as every hair on my body stood erect. I felt my body temperature change and I began to sweat profusely. I was aware I was surrounded by three very large and menacing evil spirits, in what looked like some ancient Roman gladiator arena. In this state of part dream/part reality, I would be confronted and made aware of my fear of these spiritual creatures from Satan's army.
The level of hatred and revulsion on their part was beyond description. They used their sheer size and power to intimidate me and they knew in the natural I was afraid. My fear level had gone through the roof and they knew it, taking morbid pleasure in that fact. They wanted to subdue me and destroy me at all cost and fear was their primary weapon. Their anger was beyond explanation, they had no sense of mercy or compassion, they were totally void of any feelings towards me other than hatred. Their coldness and revulsion towards me was beyond belief. I remember calling on the name of Jesus, that was the only weapon I had at hand or knew worked.
There was a real spiritual battle taking place in my mind, albeit each time I used the name of Jesus they shook. I recall the expression on their faces changed, I knew with every part of my body, soul and mind they hated Jesus as much as they hated me. They didn't like the fact I was using God's name, they wanted me to think it wouldn't work, but it did, every time.
As time went by I relied on Jesus' name more and more in the coming battles of my body, and mind. Let me just summaries: spiritual victory begins with the name of Jesus on our lips, but it will not be consummated until the nature of Jesus is in our hearts, which was the lesson I was learning.
Over the next several weeks I knew God wanted me to give this wooden cross away to a lady who was experiencing a real life crisis. God spoke to me through dreams on more than one occasion. He also spoke through other people speaking into my life. Individuals who couldn't have known about my little wooden cross or how I relied on it. God knew it was my spiritual crutch in my life. I battled week after week with God not to give this little wooden cross away but He kept on. He was very persistent. Finally I relented and gave this cross away. I had heard a preacher give a sermon about a beggar in the Bible who was healed. I knew again God wanted me to give my crutch away and trust in Him. The lady really appreciated the gesture and thanked me for the cross. I knew that as it had helped me and bought comfort to me, it would also bring her comfort.
After giving my wooden cross away these episodes, these nightly battles got worse, I couldn't believe it. Had I got it wrong, why was God punishing me, it all went through my mind and it didn't make sense. It got to the point where I couldn't carry on. I was physically and mentally exhausted by the prolonged nightly battles. I cried out to the Lord and asked Him why he had let me give this little wooden cross away, and why then let Satan increase his attacks which became more ferocious, if that was possible. I had lost my crutch with nothing to hold onto physically. I broke down and cried to the Lord to help me. I had used up all my own strength. I couldn't go on any more in my own strength. It was the first time in my life I fully surrendered to anyone, let alone to God.
In an instant I suddenly felt these evil spirits flee. I knew that they had run as if their life had depended on it. It was as if the radiance of God had blinded them. I quickly felt the presence of Jesus walk into the room as if He had been watching and waiting for that very honest cry for help. It was if I had walked through the valley of the shadow of death and had come through it, figuratively speaking. I didn't see Him but I knew it was Him. I felt a peace and warmth radiate from His presence and it surrounded me like a blanket of warmth and love. I felt a spiritual cross being placed in my physical hand and God spoke to me. He said you can share this with everyone but it's yours to keep. From that time I have always had a warmth in my hand and I know when I close my hand I can feel it.
Jesus gives the Christian a glorious standing to maintain by faith and spiritual warfare:
We stand in grace (Romans 5:2).
We stand in the gospel (1 Corinthians 15:1).
We stand in courage and strength (1 Corinthians 16:13).
We stand in faith (2 Corinthians 1:24).
We stand in Christian liberty (Galatians 5:1).
We stand in Christian unity (Philippians 1:27).
We stand in the Lord (Philippians 4:1).
We should stand perfect and complete in the will of God (Colossians 4:12).
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7)
Colossians 2:15 tells us that Jesus disarmed principalities and powers at the cross.
Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. You can even have that assurance RIGHT NOW! Either Jesus Christ died for your sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't need the shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you...please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God, to be at peace with God, to have your sins forgiven, to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity, to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click here to help you understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life, because in Christ, it is impossible to put a value on the worth of your soul in light of eternity.
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Remember: All that we do in this life comes back to our God-given purpose which is to serve and glorify God. The money and assets we accumulate, the fame and power we've attained or seek to attain - all of the things of this nature will one day pass away, but those lives of others we impact for Jesus Christ will last for eternity, and we will be rewarded for the part we helped play by impacting those lives ... for eternity. (Matthew 6:19-21 is our assurance)
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