HAVE YOU EVER FELT REJECTED?

(By: Janis Damask)

I grew up almost as an only child. I was the youngest of six children but the sibling, my brother, who was the closest in age to me was seven years older than myself. When he turned 15 he joined the army. Later in life I learned that my brother lied about his age so that he could leave home. My father had a lot of pent up anger and he took it out on his sons - three of them.

There was not much communication in my family. My oldest sister married when I was only two. Another sister married when I was nine. Many adults believe that children do not have any value and they themselves are so wrapped up in their own problems that they can't be bothered with children, even if they are their own children.

As a young child I wondered what it would be like to go to church. Surly there must be some answers to life in a church...I thought. After all, that's where God is. One day I was able to attend a church but when I left I did not feel any different. I left a disappointed girl. I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. Not even in church. 

I wanted to attend airline school after graduation and become an airline hostess so I set up an appointment for the airline representative to meet with my parents. They informed me that they were not going to give me any money to go to airline school.

As it turned out the man who came had a used crane to sell (the large commercial kind with a big scooper). My father paid him for the crane. When it was delivered it sat on his property and nothing was ever done with it. 

I was one of two siblings who graduated from high school but since I had no direction in my life I met a boy and became pregnant. Soon after graduation we were married. I was NOT ready for life let alone a marriage!

At one point in our marriage I went back home to ask my parents if my son and I could come home to live. I just couldn't take it any more and that I wanted to get a divorce. My mother told me that I made my bed and now I had to lay in it. I let some of my pent up anger out that night to my parents and went home. I'm so glad God doesn't push us back to our problems but helps us through them. 

Since I am not a quitter I have given it my best effort and I am still married to that boy. The child that I was pregnant with turned out to be a son. He now owns his own business and is doing very well for himself. He and his wife have two children, our grandchildren. We also had another son; he is working for Pepsi. He and his wife are doing well also.

Our marriage has not been a bed of roses. Many more thorns than flowers. More downs than ups. The insecure feelings that I had continued on in our marriage. My husband defended his family over me many many times leaving me with a worthless feeling. 

I was not raised in a born again Christian family. We did not go to church. But my mother always made sure that we prayed at every meal. She did not like anyone swearing and my father swore all the time. I believe my mother became a born again Christian listening to Oral Roberts on the radio. But without any further training on my mother's part, she did not grow as a born again Christian. 

To cope with married life I kept myself busy. My first job was a cashier at a grocery store. Then as a teller at a bank. Feeling independent I left my husband and moved in with a friend. I found out her morals were very low and moved back with my husband. We seemed to be working through some problems in our marriage. Meanwhile, at the bank, I made some minor mistakes and was asked to leave. More rejection. 

Life continued on but my fulfillment was still empty. I wondered why I was born and what did the future hold. Why do people act they way they do? Why do people talk about other people all the time? Why do I feel so rejected by people? Especially my husband. I determined to never judge another person by what someone else said about them. I had been judged wrongly and I didn't want to do that to other people. But because of the rejection in my own life, I found it very difficult to trust people. I just knew that sooner or later they were going to turn on me. 

On a whim, while shopping one time, I bought the living Bible. My husband was away on a hunting trip and I was alone. So I picked up the Bible and took it to bed with me. I began to ask God questions. After each question I would open the Bible to another page and there would be my answer. I don't recommend this way to get answers but God used that way to peek my interest in Him. Through many tears I kept asking questions and I kept getting answers. 

I remember asking God, "If you are real then show me because I don't understand anything. Why am I here, I don't want to be here? Is there life after death? Why do people act the way they do?" As far as I was concerned, life was a mess and I wanted out.

I started teaching sewing classes in our home and I met a girl named Gail. Gail was different. Every time Gail and I got together the conversation always ended up about religion. I remember telling her that I thought God was like a dictator - telling us what we can and can't do. I believe many people think that way.

Gail kept asking me to come to a Bible study she went to. So to get her off my back I finally attended the study. I didn't know genesis from maps but the women there helped me to find the right place. I liked it and kept going back each week. Then they asked me to attend a women's Christian fellowship.

After some time I went. I couldn't believe the speaker. She was telling my story. They handed out little booklets there. I took it home and read it. It asked the question if I would like to go to heaven when I died. Of course the answer was Yes! The booklet gave a prayer to pray to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I didn't understand it all but I took the booklet into the bedroom, knelt down, and prayed that simple prayer. When I finished I felt as though a thousand pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And when it left it was replaced by a feeling of love. It was the most beautiful love I had ever felt in my life. I didn't understand it but I seemed to be swimming in love. It felt soooooo good. I didn't want it to end. I finally knew what love felt like. I felt accepted. I felt like life was going to be okay. 

I continued in the Bible classes and also going to Christian women's luncheons. I started taking a whole group of women with me to the luncheons. I felt that I wanted to learn more. Gail took me to a Christian book store. I was awed by what I saw. Where had this been?! Books telling real life stories. Books telling the truth. I bought some books and then I bought lots of books. I gave away books and continued to grow.  

One day a woman stopped by, who was a relative of a relative on my husband's side, to invite me to a spirit filled Bible study she was conducting. I had only seen her once or twice in my life. Later she told me that she would pray for me when she drove past our home and felt impressed to stop and invite me to their Bible study. (God at work again.) I continued to grow as a Christian and soon discovered Christian television. I watched Christian TV all the time. Rarely did I watch regular TV anymore. This went on for at least a year. Bible studies, Bible reading, and Christian TV. I grew and grew as a believer. When I did watch regular TV, I was shocked to see what they were allowing to be aired. Some of the shows being aired recently is like Sodom and Gomorrah. But some of the new shows are talking about God and miracles. I feel within my spirit that a new wave of curiosity is being peeked by many nonbelievers because of these shows. Television can be good or bad. We must choose. 

My first converts were my own two sons. We started going to church - my two sons and I. My husband wanted no part of it. A house divided is very hard. We continued to have marital problems. I began praying for God to repair our marriage.

I remember laying on the floor and pounding my fist on the floor telling God that I couldn't take it anymore. Soon after someone approached us about going on a marriage encounter weekend. I wasn't much for it. I didn't see how getting away with someone who didn't like me was going to fix a marriage. After we were approached by another couple we said that we would go. That weekend did bring some unity back to our marriage. We became a follow-up home. Couples who had gone on a weekend would come to our home for further training. I loved it. My life had meaning. I felt as though I was contributing to life and not just existing. That lasted for two years.

Through some more unusual circumstances I was offered a job at a Christian Book Store. It was there that I met a man who loaned me a set of tapes explaining the origin of demons and how they operated. It was another piece to the puzzle that I was looking for. More questions were answered for me. 

Another step for me happened when I became involved in a study on how to pray for the sick and see results. I became a member of a healing team for the Charles and Francis Healing Explosions. I saw miracles happen before my eyes. But there were still so many people who did not get healed and so many people who were still sick. So my questions to God continued. Why? Why? Why?

Healing took place in my own body but there was still one problem that remained. According to the doctors I had incurable psoriasis. My prayer had been for God to heal me. After many years when I didn't see the results my prayer changed from heal me to show me what I can do. And when I am healed I will tell everyone. 

My husband and I owned a small Laundromat business and I told one of our customers about my psoriasis. After he saw what it looked like he went on a quest to find a cure for me. After several attempts to find a solution He brought me the book, "God's Way to Ultimate Health." I knew that I knew that this was my answer. I felt it in my spirit. The author told how he cured himself of colon cancer. The cancer was the size of a baseball. He had watched his mother die of colon cancer and he didn't want to die the way his mother did. So he sought out a friend of his who told him to use certain nutrition and change some of his lifestyle. He did and within a year his cancer was gone along with all the other ailments he had. My husband and I both went on the program. To date, almost every ailment I had is gone and the ailments that my husband had are also gone.  

My husband had: above normal cholesterol, a very bad snoring problem which was gone within three days, he had restless leg syndrome (could not sleep because of it), he lost 70 pounds, he had acid stomach, hemorrhoids of several years, varicose veins vanished and his lose and bleeding gums are healed. 

I had:  A snoring problem that stopped in three days, my sinus problems are gone, Bursitis in my left knee gone, stiff neck and joints gone, pms gone, headaches gone, above normal cholesterol and blood pressure are now normal; I lost 45 pounds going from a 16-18 to a size 11-12. I used to get sore throats, colds and the flu all the time; I was depressed all the time and I have even noticed some age spots are gone.

The psoriasis seems to be the last one to go. In listening to a doctor he stated that in most cases we will heal in reverse as to the time we acquired the problem. And since I had the psoriasis first it will be the last to go.

I have learned so much about how this beautiful body works. God never meant for our bodies to fall apart. He gave us an immune system. But, because of our eating habits in America, we are destroying our own immune systems. Out of 69 countries America came in 69th healthwise. God has shown us and many others why this is happening. I pray that many will be open to the truth of health. We are spirit, soul and body. We must take responsibility for our temple (the body).

I had prayed for years that my husband and I could be in a ministry together. Since he was not a believer, I thought that would be a prayer that couldn't be answered. But we are now conducting health classes and health seminars together. I have learned to believe in prayer and God no matter how it appears to me. Dick is now going to church with me. Another answered prayer. 

When we conduct our classes those who listen and are ready to take responsibility for their health reap many benefits. And there are also those who won't listen and will die prematurely in their choices. It hurts us to see that but that is why God gave us a will. We have choices. The Bible states that he has put before us Life and Death. We must choose Life. And He also states that we "perish" for a lack of knowledge. Perish means to die before our time. I do NOT want to die before my time. God has given us a message to get out to thousands. The message is, "You Don't Have to be Sick!." 

Is my life perfect? No. But it is much better than it used to be. I am learning that I am a special person in God's eyes. God, in His word, says that I am. If He said it then it is so.

My prayer is that God will send those people to us that need the gospel message as well as the health message.

I have found meaning to life. God is good! He has a plan for everyone! 

Thank you and God bless you for taking the time to read my testimony. I pray that it has helped encourage you in some way. If you would like to talk with me about anything I've shared, please don't hesitate to contact me. I can be reached at goodnews72743@yahoo.com.

Janis Damask

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Remember:  All that we do in this life comes back to our God-given purpose which is to serve and glorify God. The money and assets we accumulate, the fame and power we've attained or seek to attain - all of the things of this nature will one day pass away, but those lives of others we impact for Jesus Christ will last for eternity, and we will be rewarded for the part we helped play by impacting those lives ... for eternity. (Matthew 6:19-21 is our assurance)