A PURPOSE FOR LIFE
(The Terrence Cutler Story)

(By: Terrence B. Cutler)

Grace, Mercy, and Peace Be Unto You.   Presently, I am not certain if I have a life changing testimony. As the Lord renews my life and gives me purpose to focus on, then my life can become a testimony of His life changing power.
 

Here is my story:

As a child about seven (7) years old, my brothers and I were taken to church by our Mother for a year or so, which seemed to be a form of desperation as Mom appeared to be grasping for purpose in life. Apparently she didn't find the peace she was seeking because a divorce began at about the same time following our Church excursions. I remember saying the sinner's prayer and being baptized, but never understood what I was doing nor did I continue to go to church.

Smoking cigarettes and marijuana began at age 12 or 13 and occasional beer drinking shortly thereafter. Work became a big part of my life early in my teens, part time at age 14 and I began working for a local fruit processing plant at age 15 with forged documents; it was at this work environment I was later introduced to cocaine and crystal-methedrine. I was able to work my way up to a supervisory position prior to quitting because of lack of communication and silly pride on my part, which reminds me of a verse in Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall." Sure enough for me, as things seemed to keep coming at me, bringing me down.

Because of my drug and alcohol use (which became increasingly necessary for emotional medication) I was lacking the social skills to maintain a relationship, therefore causing frustrations. Eventually, when I was asked to help some friends give a young woman a place to stay (I knew she was a runaway but didn't want to admit it to even myself), I allowed it with the expectation that sex would be inevitable. That blatant sin opened the door for Satan to set up some false allegations from those I was trying to help (and use).

The original Pre-Trial hearing ended with dropping the charges because the testimony was contradictory and obviously coached. In a plea bargain, the Chief of Police secured a false statement, which was used to bring me back to Court and to prison for eight of a ten year maximum sentence.

Upon arriving at Jackson Reception & Guidance Center, looking out over the cellblock from the first gallery at the officers station, I realized I had thoroughly messed up my life. It was an experience one cannot understand without going through it. That first night (January 11, 1991) I knelt and talked to God as I was contemplating suicide because I believed there was no purpose in life for me and no reason for continuing to go through the downward spiral my life was taking.

If it wasn't for either the lack of courage or I prefer to believe it was God's intervention, I would not be writing this. I asked Him to get me through this prison experience and to give me purpose in life. Sadly to say, for the first year I didn't take to following God's Word, not even reading His Word or going to services to find out what it was He had for me or expected of me. Thank God for praying Mothers and Grand Mothers, my Mom and Grandma prayed me into the kingdom.

A.A. was a major influence on me with its very open view of spiritual awakening. The candid stories also helped to open my mind to just how goofed up my life was. I was about a year and a half into my prison term when I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord over my life, but He has been working in (and through) me as He knocks off the rough edges.

I have grown drastically during my incarceration, obtaining a GED, Computer Literacy, Vocational Janitorial training and much needed emotional growth through Prison Fellowship Seminars and A.A. My desires have been to be released every time a release date came about but I needed to go through this time to learn the experiences that were destined for my path.

I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for giving up on me, as He will never give up on YOU!  No matter what we have done, God will forgive us if we will only surrender to Him.

Are you ready to surrender?  I trust so.  Eternity awaits each of us.

Precious Testimonies is a non-denominational 501-C-3 evangelistic ministry, and financial love offerings to this ministry are tax-deductible for those who qualify.  A financial summary can be viewed by clicking on the following link:  Financial Summary. .