I have had a lifelong depression that started when I was around six years old. I remember feeling very alone. I first tied to end my life by taking some sleeping pills. My family wanted to just sweep it under the rug. I went years without any medication. As the years went on I became more depressed.

Five years ago I was in a real stressful job. I had to put a smile on my face like I was so happy. I was dying inside a little more each day. At this time in my life I didn't know Christ. I did not grow up in church and I was not afraid to die. I went for three months daily telling myself I wanted to die. I started to distance myself from my family. I then convinced myself they would be better off without me. I decided that March 6, 2006 was the day I was going to die.

I said goodbye to my co-workers knowing I would never see them again. I went home and actually shot myself in the chest. The moment after, I screamed "OH GOD!"

I had called His name.

My husband came home just in time and called 911. I remember it got real dark when all of a sudden there was this white bright light. It was very calming. I began to see this little girl running in real green grass. The colors were so vivid. As I looked closer the little girl was me. The next thing I remember I was around 13; I don't remember the picture - I just know I was happy.

The last thing I remember I was looking at myself getting married in 1985. I was not at the same level as before. I was up looking down at the altar, when all of a sudden the movie just closed up.

I awoke and the paramedic's was working on me. I awoke three days later in the hospital. I testified what had happened to me not long after I awoke. I knew it was a Divine Intervention. The doctors was amazed I had survived.

My life changed that day. I am blessed by the grace of God. I knew there was a God and no one was to tell me different. For years I lived with tremendous guilt. I became involved in a local church when I was invited by a dear friend. I enjoyed it and liked the pastor. I was baptized in April 2009.

I have learned that God forgives us for our sins. I have been truly blessed. I attend therapy and take a combination of medications. I am a member of the Depression and Bipolar Support Association and we meet twice a month. I believe I survived to help others with depression. I have written many things and I have also done a live show on the internet regarding suicide. If I can just help one person with my story then I have made a difference. I have finally found peace in God.