By: Nancy Swanson

I am a survivor. Many circumstances throughout my life have left me experiencing the sting of abuse.  At times, still being able to breathe.... was success.  Here is something about the path that has led me to a place where I now have peace and joy in my life.

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At the present I am surrounded with such happiness.  Every day is like a gift to me.  I think that I appreciate life soooo much because it hasn't always been so great.  It has been a bumpy road along the way.

I was completely lonely by the time I reached adolescence.  I felt a deep sense that there was some supernatural force that could be grasped. I wanted to figure out life and be in control but most of all... I wanted to feel loved.

I fell into the wrong kind of lifestyle.  The "wild kind" that parents fear with all of their being. I was also quite involved with astrology, tarot cards, séances, etc., in the search to fill a void in my spirit.  I found power in these things and yet, I still felt emptiness.

When I was 18, a remarkable experience happened in my life. I came to the realization that God is REAL. Up until this time, I sincerely believed that God, Satan, and all religious ideas were fictitious. Made up. Man made.  I discovered that there IS a supernatural power. God is not to be grasped... rather, he needs for us to humble ourselves enough, for him to grasp us.   I learned that God truly loves me.... beyond my understanding.

Out of simple faith, I sincerely prayed for the very first time.

" Jesus... I was told that you love me. That you love me so much that you died to make a way that I could go to heaven. If that is true... I want to follow you.  I know that I need your forgiveness in my life.   I want you to be my Lord.  Please show me the way to go."

From that day on, God has proven himself to me over and over again. He has completely changed my heart and attitude.  

It is as though we have this emptiness in our spirit at birth. We all search in our own directions... needing to fill it in order to feel complete.

There is only ONE thing that will fill that void.. that need.. that emptiness in us. It is God himself. When we are willing to follow him... to give God respect in our lives... He will give us true fulfillment.

Choosing to follow God, doesn't guarantee that your life will then be trouble free.  We are now living in a sin stricken world.  He does promise us that he will NEVER leave us, once we have given our heart to him.  That is something that he has proven to me, time and time again.

I have experienced many hardships - physically and emotionally.... yet in my darkest hours, I have NEVER been left alone.  I have been fortunate enough to have the love and support of wonderful parents, both of my sweet sisters and some very close loving friends. 

In fact, it was during one of the most isolated times in my life when God gave a precious gift of friendship.  These friends are closer and more precious to me than any other friends.

God has guided and strengthened me through many experiences.  The healing of my hurtful childhood and escape from the  emptiness of drugs, alcohol and promiscuity.  Suffering through years of serious illness and experiencing healing.   The anguish of a previous abusive marriage and divorce when that marriage failed. Learning to heal from years of inner wounds that came from this experience.  The loss of many close friends and learning to walk in forgiveness.   Learning to pick up the pieces. The struggles of being a single mom. Helping my children heal from the wounds of these experiences.   Through all of these things, never did I feel that God had left me.   Rather... he carried me in those times.

I know that even when death comes my way, in his loving arms, I will remain for eternity. What comfort is found in that truth alone in God. 

It requires simple faith. How many people exercise even more faith to believe that we exist as the result of an accidental boom?

God doesn't make his love tricky or confusing. You do not need to know a certain language, be a certain age, walk a certain way, go to a certain church.   In fact, this has nothing to do with church (church is just a group of people getting together).

When I think of how life would be without God, it frightens me. There are many people who just "wing it" through life... hoping that it all comes out okay. 

We don't need to just  " hope ".  We can KNOW. 

All that God requires of us, is to come to him in honesty and respect.  He wants us to realize that we do not measure up to holiness on our own.   We need his grace and his son, Jesus.  He wants us to give him consideration, priority and honor with our hearts, just as any parent would want of their children. This decision leads to personal fulfillment and freedom that we cannot experience any other way.

God reaches into our deepest needs.  There is nothing too complicated for him to break through.  I have so much to Thank God for.

I have the privilege of being married to my very best friend and true Soul Mate.  If I listed everything that I desired for a husband to be.... Tom surpasses that list 1000 %.   I am a Most blessed woman.  I thought that we had to wait for heaven to experience this kind of happiness :) 

We have six wonderful children to love.  Being a mom is the most rewarding role in my life.  The children are my friends, my challenge, my priority, my joy.