I WAS NOT READY TO CHANGE
(The David Sutton Story)
By:
David Sutton
Sunday, Feb. 15th 1942 was my most memorable
day of my life....
Each time I share my experience, it always
makes me feel very good ....
If you have the time, and if you are
interested, may I share this again with you? I was 19 years of age at
that time. WW II had started for our country on Dec. 7, 1941, and I was
working in Detroit, Michigan....
My first memory of this day was when I was
sitting in a small room where 10 other young men were seated.... They had
come to study the Bible... They seemed to be very friendly.... I felt a
bit uncomfortable, as they were a bit different than I was.... Most of
them knew more about the Bible than I did.... They appeared to be more
happy in-side of themselves than I was...
Then something disturbing happened..... Two of the leaders were talking (before the class had started) ....
One said, "Maybe there is someone here today who has not yet become a
Christian.... How long do you think it would take them to become a
Christian if they allowed us to talk to them? Do you think that it would take ten minutes?"
At that the other replied,
"No, it could
take less than that.."
"OK, if any of you would like to become
a Christian, just stay here after class, and you too can become a
Christian" the other said....
This was something very new to me.... I had
grown up in a town 40 miles from here.... At "my church" where
I had attended, no one ever talked about a person "becoming a
Christian".... People just had their names added to the membership roll, they were
"baptized", and they were accepted and were identified that they were
"Christians"....
This had happened to me at the age of 14....
I thought that I had done all that God required of me.... I thought
that God would "change me" when I was "baptized" --- but I was
disappointed.... Nothing changed...I was just the same after as I was before....
Now - when the class was over, who do you
think was the first one out of the door? -- You are correct.... I WAS.... I
felt that I had escaped the trap which was to catch me into doing
something I did not want to do....I DID NOT WANT TO CHANGE.... I feared that
they would try to do something that would pressure me to change my
life... They seemed friendly, but I did not trust them....
I did leave that room, and I went into the
large room where the people regularly gathered to worship, with music,
prayer, and listening to the preaching from the Bible....
Again I felt uneasy.... Those people also
seemed to be more happy and contented than I was.... (They must have
something I do not have, I thought)...
But when the pastor asked the people to raise
their hand to indicate that they knew that if they were to die
tonight, that they knew they would be with God in Heaven, I RAISED MY
HAND....(I lied).... I really knew that I was not like they were.... I had
not really trusted God, and that Jesus Christ had paid my penalty for me
for my disobeying God (for my sins).... I knew that Heaven was not my
future "home"...
The pastor invited people to come to the
front to "accept the Lord, and to become a Christian", near the end of
the service....
OK, now who do you think was the first
person out the back door? You are right again.... I WAS.... I could
breathe,
as I was free from the pressure I felt that I needed to
change.... Again I felt as though I
had escaped a trap.... I was not ready to change anything....
I hurried to the bus stop, to catch a bus to
take me out to my cousins' home for a good "home-cooked
meal".....
Later
that afternoon, I went to take the bus back to where I was living....
I found the bus empty and the door was open so I entered and sat on the seat, which was immediately in
back of the driver... He had gone into a coffee shop, and now he was
returning....
He noticed my Bible, which was on the
seat.... He asked, "Is that your Bible?"...
I replied,
"Yes"... He continued,
"Where do you go to church?"
"The First Baptist Church of Highland
Park, Michigan", I said.....
"That's amazing" he said,
"That is the very same church our family attends.
How long have you attended?" --- "About a year"----
"Are you a Christian?" ----
"Yes" (I lied, trying to stop him from talking to me as I was feeling pressure
again...)
"How long have you been 'saved' ",
he continued.... I lied again -
"About a year."
"That is great.... It sure is good to
know you are a Christian, isn't it?" .... AGAIN I LIED,
"Yes"....
Then he told me that two years ago some
people came out to his home, on a Tuesday evening, and in their livingroom,
and around their coffee table, they had a little Bible study.... It
was then that he and his wife were both "saved" and became
Christians....
WOW -- I really felt uncomfortable... I knew
I had lied many times that day about my relationship with God....
All I wanted to do was
hurry home, and try
to escape again the pressure I felt....
For some reason, I felt that I should go back
to the Young People's Fellowship, before the evening church
services...
I did, and afterwards I went to the evening
worship service.... It happened again.... (That uneasy feeling
returned)....
Then later, when the pastor invited the
people to raise their hand if they knew that Heaven was their next home,
when they died -- Who do you think raised his
hand?....
Well it WAS NOT ME this time.... I had lied
about God so much that day, I did not dare to lie again...
If I had, I was afraid that God would have
cut off my "lying hand"...
At the end of the meeting, who was the first
one out of the church that night? -- You are right.... I WAS....
Again I went to catch a Woodward Ave. street-car, and transfer to a bus, to go to an aunt's home to sleep.... I
stepped off of the street-car at 6 Mile Road.... There was an ice
cream store where they served excellent "sundaes"...
After my
ice cream, I started walking south
on 6 Mile Road to Third Avenue to catch the bus.... There, while walking alone, I began talking to
myself.... "I am a good fellow.... I
have not killed anyone.... I have not robbed any bank.... I have never
intentionally hurt anyone.... I have gone to church.... I do believe that
there is a God, and that Jesus Christ died on the cross"....
"I believe the Bible is true.... And I
also remember that God loves everyone... God had Jesus Christ die to pay
my penalty for my sins....God wants everyone to be with Him in
Heaven.... So maybe God will feel sorry for me, when I die.... Maybe He will allow me to "slip on
in" without my becoming a Christian....
"I remember what God said in the Bible,
'All have sinned' (disobeyed) Romans 3:23, and 'the wages of sin is death'
Romans 6:23...
"I have not lived a perfect life, so I
do deserve to die, and go to Hell....
"Yes, I wanted to go to Heaven, when I
died, BUT I AM ONLY 19, AND I WILL LIVE TO BE 65 OR 70 BEFORE I DIE, SO
I'VE LOTS OF TIME"
Now that scared me.... I really did NOT KNOW
that I had one more minute to live.... My heart could stop immediately,
and then I would be in HELL...
I called out to God - -
"Oh God, I do
not want to die, and go to Hell...I believe that Jesus died for me, and He paid
my sin-penalty, so I now ask you to forgive me for my sins and come
into my heart, and save me from dying and going to Hell....
"God, if you do this for me, PLEASE LET
ME KNOW IT, SO I CAN BE SURE"....
WELL GOD DID IT..... GOD LET ME KNOW IT FOR
SURE.....
Since Sunday Feb. 15, 1942 at 8:45PM, I have
been a child of God, because I too was "born again from
Heaven"..
At times
the devil (Satan) has tried to confuse me
and to get me to stop trusting God....
The
devil tries to have me question the
important fact that nothing can stop me from being in the family of God,
and my relationship with God....
God has allowed the
devil to do this for His own good reason.... Maybe God wanted me to learn more about Him
and His love, His forgiveness, His patience, and His power to hold every person
-- no matter what mistakes they do....
GOD IS REALLY GREAT....
Now God wants others to hear about the fact
that God loves them too, and that His love is not conditioned on anything
they do or do not do....
God wants them to know that
He separated
Himself from them, that first time they did anything which they knew was
wrong.... Their punishment was death.... Death is a separation.... The
punishment for disobeying God the first time is that God's Spirit is separated from our spirit....
God wants to be with them, and God will
return, when anyone will stop trusting their own efforts, or anyone else,
and tell God that they trust that Jesus Christ did pay in full,
their penalty for their sins.....
"God, IF YOU ARE REAL, and IF YOU CAN
HEAR ME, right now I am telling you that I know that I deserve to die and go to
Hell.... BUT I do believe, and I trust that Jesus Christ died
for me, and He paid my penalty for my sins.... The only thing I can
do to go to Heaven is to trust what Jesus Christ has done for me....
SO please forgive me for my sins, and come into my life and my heart
right now.... Save me from going to Hell..... AND please - let me be
sure of it... I want to Know it.... I want to Know that I Know it.... You
have helped others to be 100 percent sure of it, and I ask you to let me be
100 percent sure of it too....
God wants you to be sure, and God's Spirit
tells your spirit that you are a child of God....
Look it up yourself in God's book ---- The
Bible --- Romans 8:16 ---
One of God's very grateful children....God loves you too - unconditionally....
David Sutton
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