Jesus Did It!
MY STRUGGLES OF BEING A CHRISTIAN IN AN INDIAN CULTURE
By: Anu Radha
Born to a non-Christian family, I was totally unaware about what it is to get saved and who really is Jesus. But I do remember that when I was a kid I used to have a small Bible with me (given to me as a gift from my school as I studied in a Christian school). I remember before going to sleep I used to open the Bible and read a verse that randomly came. To tell you the truth I did not understand a word of it. But I used to read it and then close my eyes and pray to Jesus to take care of my family and me in time of distress.
But then I was again pulled into darkness. I lost the Bible and stopped praying to Jesus and began worshiping idols as Satan had taken completely over me.
After that I had to encounter a lot of pain and agony. I had no friends in my early days. I used to wander alone, asking myself, “ Why don't I have any friends?”
Time passed by. I finished
my schooling where I managed to score some good marks (I think the prayer that I
did when I was small had Jesus’ hand on me in some way from then on). I was put
up in a good college.
Before going any further, I would also like to tell you that all my childhood and my early years passed with a greater thirst for love, as both my parents were working to fulfill all our family's needs. They did not have time to spend with us. They would come in the evening tired, and as a child I would wait for them to share all the good times I had at school, but they were absolutely drained out from work. They had no time for the small family discussions and went to bed early to get ready for the next day.
As a result of this lack of family interaction, I grew up to be a very timid and reserved person. I would run into my room and shut the door when somebody new came to our house. I was really scared to meet any new people.
My parents used to work hard to satisfy all the family's needs, but yet they couldn't buy me a new dress for my birthday. My mom used to explain to me in the most soft way so that my little heart didn’t get hurt that how they had to spend money for something the family needed more, or save it for something, so she could not buy me a dress. I would smile and tell her, “Its okay Mom - don't worry”, but I would go to the bathroom and cry. I would cry until my eyes were red and swollen to double there size it seemed and ask God, “Why God? Why only Me?” Obviously I didn't get any answers as I wasn't talking to my God really – I was just voicing my hurt to Him.
Thanks to the Almighty God who still had His hand on me, with His Grace alone I was put up in a good college and found some really good friends, but yet again I allowed Satan to slip into my life again and I was involved in some bad relationships.
With one of my friendships, I continued to be in that relationship until one day a voice in me said, “Stop it. What you are doing is wrong.” I could not figure out at that time whose voice that was, but I knew I had to stop it.
So I did. I followed my heart and told that friend, “Let’s stop. I am not in this sinful relationship anymore.” Yet again the Christ had his hand on me.
After this I fell in love with a person whom I thought was perfect for me, and I had a strong desire to get married to this person. I was happy, but it was temporary. I soon discovered that he had no intentions of spending his life with me.
I used to worship the so called idols -- asking them to change his mind to marry me, but in vain. I clung to these idols and continued to worship them, but Jesus always had a upper hand in me.
I got a good job with a
good salary, but I sill was involved with this person. He used me to get money
from. I gave it to him thinking that it would change him, but finally he left
me. It seemed to nearly kill me when he said he wanted to leave. I thought I
should die. I thought – What is the use of me living in this world, because
every time I find love, I only loose it later?
But then something in me said, “Wait! Don't take you life. It is not your right to take your life.”
Then came an opportunity where my company decided to send me to UK for a contract. At first I declined. It seemed to conflict with my life, but Jesus wanted me to go.
After two months I again got an offer to go to UK. This time I decided “Okay, fine. I will go.’”
When I went, I already had a few of my friends from my company there so I stayed with them. Few of them were Christians so I became depressed with my life.
Wanting to have some peace, I went to a church with one of my friends on one Sunday. That day I could feel so much vibration in my heart; an unexplainable joy.
But Satan again showed his little face up and I again stopped going to church, thinking, “No, that is not my religion.”
But then God (still having His hand on me) had me meet this wonderful person who was a Christian. He went to this small fellowship church there in the small town where we stayed. Since I liked him, I also went with him one day to the church he was attending. He introduced me to all the wonderful people there. I was surprised by the welcome I received, which was very new to me. I thought: “Wow! What is with these people? They are seeing me for the first time yet they are giving me a welcome that they would give their family member.”
Since then I started going to church just to impress this person I liked. I still didn’t know how to read a Bible. I used to struggle to find a chapter in the Bible. I didn't know what Old Testament and New Testament meant.
In between all this, the guy I liked and I got very close. We decided to move our relation further and get married. However, there was this big barrier where he was from a really orthodox Christian family and I was from a really orthodox Hindu family (a religion which many thinks Christian's are hypocrites and my parents are no exception), but we decided to give it a try.
He arranged for a Bible study so that I could come closer to God. He explained what it really means to be a Christian, and who really was and is Jesus.
I began slowly realizing
that I should give myself totally to Jesus; forgive all those who have sinned
against me; give all my worries and troubles to Him, and I did. The moment I
did my emptiness was filled with Love .. . abundant Love of Jesus, and for the
first time in life I was not thirsty for Love, and I felt complete and
Even though as I write this I am going through struggles, and am going through a lot of difficulty in my marriage (since his parents are not yet convinced of me since even though I am a Christian my family is not, and have not yet approved of my marriage with him, and in India a marriage is between two families rather than two individuals ; the guys family has to like the girl and girl's family and so does the girls family; it is really complicated) but I am still happy and I do not whine to God about it because I know if we give everything to the will of God, He will never forsake you.
For He has rightly said:
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Mat 7:7)
Today I am a Christian, happy and content with God always at my side; in a wonderful Christian journey waiting for Him to come and take me with Him!
I hope this Testimony has blessed you in some way, for God Himself asked me to share it.
God Bless All! I Hope the cruel world soon realizes the wonder of the
Wonderful Savior and surrender to Him.
PLEASE HELP SHARE THE BEST NEWS GOD HAS FOR EVERY PERSON!
"And this gospel of the
died for sinners] shall be preached in all the world for a witness
unto all nations; and then shall the end come."
(Quote from Jesus Himself: Matthew 24:14).
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